Abandoned by her convert father

 

 In a recent playwriting workshop I conducted, I met Priya (not her real name), a 35-year-old teacher. While assisting Priya to brainstorm the subject matter for her monologue piece, I discovered her past and with her permission, I am sharing her story here.

As a young child, Priya used to tell her primary school teachers that her father was a doctor. She did this for several years after finding out that it was the best answer which would make her teachers stop asking why her father was always absent in every parent-teacher meeting and special occasions at school.

The truth is, Priya’s father was not a doctor. In fact, she did not know who her father was until she became much older.

Ever since Priya was born, she only knew her mother and her older siblings. As the youngest child, she was raised by a mother who juggled between many jobs to make ends meet, and was cared for by her three elder brothers. No one spoke about her father at home.

Growing up, she knew there was something odd about her family, especially when teachers at her school kept asking about her ‘missing’ father. All the questions about what’s her father’s name, what he does, where is his workplace, what is his race and religion, what’s his contact number - it used to stress her out.

That’s when she started becoming creative to make the questions stop. In the beginning, she told everyone at school that she did not have a father. That only raised everyone’s eyebrows. So later on, she changed her story and told them that he had passed away - and everyone became interested to know how it had happened.

At one point, Priya decided that her father was a very busy businessman. It worked for a while until people started asking what he was selling. And then, when she started telling everyone that her father was a doctor, instantly all the questions vanished. Yes, she had created the perfect identity for her absent father.

The lies made it easier for Priya to cope at school. It allowed her to pretend that she had a father figure, just like all her friends, and that her family was somewhat perfect too.

When Priya was a teenager, she lost her mother, the backbone of her family. While mourning for her mother, she finally learnt the truth about her estranged father from relatives.

Priya learnt that her father had secretly converted to Islam while her mother was pregnant with her. He then left his family to marry a Muslim woman. When Priya was born into this world, her father had already wiped off his former family from his life. He was very pleased with his new Muslim family and found no reason to keep in touch with his own flesh and blood.

Suffering a great deal of injustice

Priya’s story is different from the many stories we hear today about a parent's conversion into Islam. Although Priya was not subject to unilateral conversion like other children in the many cases we often hear these days, she and her family suffered a great deal of injustice just like the other non-Muslim spouses and their children.

In Priya’s case, her father abandoned his pregnant wife and three young children after converting into Islam. It sounds almost as if he was sacrificing his family in order to choose Islam.

In cases of unilateral conversion, when a newly converted parent forcibly converts his/her children into Islam, he/she seem to think that they are ‘saving the soul’ of the child, never mind that a family unit is separated, broken and destroyed.

In both cases, the actions of these newly converted parents go against the core principles of Islam which stands for truth, justice, love and compassion. The argument that they are doing this to follow the righteous path which brings them closer to Allah sounds shallow and quite ridiculous to tell you the truth.

What’s more ridiculous is the fact that our religious scholars and religious authorities are supporting their acts. For them, every case of conversion into Islam is a cause for celebration. It’s as if one more soul has been saved from the dark side. Who cares about the non-Muslims who suffer as a result of the conversion, right?

Unfortunately, what these people fail to understand is the fact that children do not need a Muslim parent to have a blessed life - all they need is a good parent.

Converting into Islam in no way magically transforms a bad parent into a holy parent. Trust me, there are many bad parents who are Muslims.

Priya’s mother may have been a Hindu woman, but she was a good example of a wonderful, holy parent who lived her life for her children. And she did not have to convert to any religion to be a blessed parent. - Mkini

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FA ABDUL is a passionate storyteller, a media trainer, an aspiring playwright, a director, a struggling producer, a photographer, an expert Facebooker, a lazy blogger, a part-time queen and a full-time vainpot.

The views expressed here are those of the author/contributor and do not necessarily represent the views of MMKtT.