Poor little rich kids really take the cake

 

One morning a few days ago I watched a viral video sent by a friend. Not being on Facebook, I have to rely on the kindness (or cruelty) of friends to know what’s going on around me.

As is quite often the case of late, the video made me laugh and cry at the same time.

My first thought was that Malaysia has so many Marie Antoinettes – the Empress of France at the start of the French Revolution in the late 18th century who was supposed to have said, of the starving French peasants who ran out of bread to eat, “Let them eat cake!”

She probably didn’t say that. Being a cake person, she wouldn’t even have known what bread is.

Marie Antoinette ended up losing her head in the revolution, thus proving that being an empress and being clueless about bread and cakes can be dangerous.

The video I was sent is about a young man proudly showing off his wealth, apparently in reference to some cancelled nuptial plans between him and another joker. Apparently, he was making the point that he was not a gold-digger.

There were boasts about bling and throwing cash around like confetti. It was pure Kardashian reality show stuff, except for the boobs.

And this is during a time of so much hardship for so many out there. It’s the modern equivalent of telling people to eat cake when they’re running out of bread. There must be something off in these people’s heads.

The part that insulted me the most was when he showed off his two expensive Maine Coon cats, likely imported from Maine, or from Coon, or maybe from Maine Coon, assuming there is such a place.

I have two cats too. One squeezed through the gate as a small kitten, diseased and close to death. We took her in thinking we would be burying her soon enough, but she decided to postpone her death and stick around instead.

She’s our Main Gate cat.

The other was also a small kitten found by the roadside by my wife. He also decided free room and board was a decent bargain for putting up with our family and stuck around.

He is our Main Road cat.

I’m still waiting to be interviewed about my pure breed Main cats which, being pure breeds, are either pure joy or pure evil, and are often both.

That Facebook video could be fake news though. It looks so much like a typical RTM drama, with an actor in garish clothing and overacting to a bad script.

The young man’s concerns for only “original” (read – expensive) products and how much he hates fakes are so heartfelt. I admire such principles and hereby invite him to share my passion for Kentucky Fried Chicken, the original recipe.

But he could be a fake himself, made in some unsavoury location like Damansara Heights or the seedier parts of Shah Alam.

After I threw up, I reflected on a few things that jumped at me from the video, such as his tackiness – as tacky as stale coconut jam, or a day-old ice cream stain on your jeans, or tacky as sap from an unripe jackfruit.

Also, about how common he is, and how lacking in class. I’d say about as common as a deputy minister, and as lacking in class as a school at midnight, and ultimately as embarrassing as a stain on your trousers when you realise you should’ve stopped at the last rest area on the highway.

But I shouldn’t have mentioned my bladder issues, as we Malays are very conscious of shame, and we don’t want anybody out there to laugh at us. So, please don’t laugh at us, or we’ll set our dogs on you.

I don’t have the money these people have, and they’d never believe me if I say I don’t want that kind of money either. My parents never left me any money but educated me about having some class.

I used to appreciate, though never desired, the finer things in life– fine food, clothes, cars, watches and stuff. Then I saw the kind of people who began to have them, and I realised that classy stuff attracts unclassy people!

The nouveau riche are incredibly popular on social media. They’re treated like royalty – as if we don’t have enough real royalty around. They all have money from amazing sources, ranging from selling halal cosmetics to …that’s it I think.

How do they get so rich? Is the market for halal cosmetics that huge? I see them being advertised on highway billboards everywhere. Are the Malay women all in need of makeovers?

And perhaps Malay men too? This young man looked immaculately dressed and made-up, likely with original cosmetics though I’d doubt he’d touch anything local whether original or not.

I guess calling it halal means this is a market meant for Muslims and to be operated only by Muslims. Any non-Muslim companies selling cosmetics would soon be forced to sell 51% of their equity to Bumiputera parties.

But seriously, why didn’t they use their money to buy some class? Even a third-class class made in Bangladesh would still have been better than no-class. We may be a classless society, but it still sucks to see so many classless people in it.

The insecurity in these people oozes through their every pore. Even they themselves must see how pathetic and empty they must seem to the world.

That’s why there is such a desperate need to buy themselves expensive stuff to cover their lack of substance, and how loudly they shout and scream to silence that inner voice telling them “You’re a nothing!”

They’re like some third-rate evil characters in a Disney cartoon, the ridiculous minor characters whom you know would get their comeuppance just before the final scene as the first ones to be whacked by the hero and who meet some comical end.

We’d cheer and laugh at them, than switch off our TV sets and realise that such cartoonish people are everywhere, not just on YouTube and RTM, and that they are…running the country!

I can only hope my own children won’t be like that, given how they were brought up brainwashed on silly stuff.

They’re probably beyond salvation and would never be viral video personalities. - FMT

The views expressed are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect those of MMKtT.