Filial piety is the essence of Chinese New Year

Chinese New Year comes early this year. It is especially auspicious as we also herald in 2020 to start a new decade.

Every lunar new year, I am reminded of that all-important subject of filial piety, a virtue of respect for one's parents, elders and ancestors.

We are often encouraged to return home to celebrate the festive occasion with our family and especially for that very traditionally important reunion dinner on the eve of Chinese New Year.

Such encouragement is only appropriate but instead of a once-a-year ritual, we should instead invite our aged parents to live with us, wherever and whenever possible.

Needless to say, taking care of your parents in their sunset years is great filial piety. Mind you, it’s not without its positives too.

A friend in his 40s told me that one of the unexpected perks of living with his parents was the conversations they had, particularly with his father.

Seeing his father every day, having a regular conversation with him, enables him to pick up a lot of life wisdom which he probably wouldn’t have if he was living on his own.

He has also learned that his parents are not static individuals too as everyone changes going through the various phases of life.

Although his mother still nags him now and again, principally over his untidiness, smoking and occasional not-so-prudent spending, he was able to tolerate her.

“What is a little nagging from a mother who went through so much to bring you up?” he said.

It also helps that his wife gets along with his mother very well. A cordial relationship among in-laws will certainly make for a harmonious and happy home environment.

Perhaps best of all, the mother also acts as a baby-sitter for three of his young kids, one only five-years-old.

Of course, if we do not live with our parents, in the case of work commitment outside our hometown, then I guess it is only right that we return home to be with our parents and elders at least once a year.

I recall that some years ago, a Sarawak minister revealed that the intake in old folks’ homes in Kuching was getting less and less.

I was happy to learn that. It means that not many aged people from the Chinese community are sent to live in the homes for the aged now.

It also means that more and more children are taking care of their elderly parents at home. It is indeed heart-warming to know this reversal in the trend among young Chinese families.

I think those of us who are getting on in years now will wish that our children will continue to uphold this great tradition of our Chinese culture.

I’m not sure I’ll be a happy man spending my sunset years in an old folks’ home. I bet you won’t too.

If you have the opportunity to read up on Confucianism and the thoughts of the great Chinese thinker and social philosopher, you will find his take on filial piety rather interesting.

While Confucianism has not been officially taught since the Cultural Revolution in China, the Confucian value of filial piety continues to be passed down from generation to generation and has even influenced Chinese growing up in other parts of the world.

The Chinese have always considered family values as the fundamental unit of their society. Filial piety had been praised by Confucius and thinkers of all schools took for granted that a well-run family was one in which parents looked out for the interests of their children and children obeyed their parents and supported them in their old age.

To quote Confucius, "Filial piety is the root of virtue and the source of civilisation. We establish ourselves and practise the Way, thereby perpetuating our name for future generations and bringing glory to our parents. This is the fulfilment of filial piety and it begins with serving one's parents, our rulers and is completed by establishing one's character."

So let us remember to always stay filial as we celebrate the Year of the Rat. Cherish the happy moments as we bond with our loved ones, our elders in particular, during this festive occasion. Filial piety is indeed the essence of Chinese New Year.

To the many non-Chinese friends who sent me Gong Xi Fa Cai greetings, let me say this, Chinese New Year is somehow more joyous and meaningful when greetings and warm wishes come from non-Chinese brethren. I mean this from the bottom of my heart.

A very happy and prosperous new year and happy holidays to one and all.

And one last thing, in this Year of the Rat, let us make sure that we don’t let the "rats" of this nation get away.

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FRANCIS PAUL SIAH heads the Movement for Change, Sarawak (MoCS) and can be reached at sirsiah@gmail.com. - Mkini