THURSDAY JOKE - 4

Ahmad, Chan and Samy are very tired after traveling all day and so they check into a hotel. When they get to the reception, they find out they'll have to walk 75 flights of stairs to get to their room because the hotel elevator is out of order. Ahmad suggests that they do something interesting to pass time while they walk the 75 flights. Ahmad will tell jokes, Chan will sing songs, and Samy will tell sad stories. So Ahmad tells jokes for 25 flights, Chan sings songs for 25 flights and Samy tells sad stories for 24 flights. When they reach the 75th floor, Samy tells his saddest story of all, "Guys, I left our room key at reception."

Two old friends crossed paths after not seeing one another for almost a decade. 
Azman: "What are you doing these days?" 
Imran: "PHD." 
Azman: "Wow! You're a doctor!" 
Imran: "No, Pizza Home Delivery."

Q: What did the cross-eyed teacher say?
A: I cannot control my pupils!

Q. Why did the apple run away? 
A. Because the banana split!

Teacher: "Where was the Constitution of India signed?" 
Student: "At the bottom of the page!"

What does an air conditioner have in common with a computer? 

They both lose efficiency as soon as you open windows.

Three old friends got together and were discussing what movie they had watched when they conceived their babies. One lady says she had just watched a movie called The Search for One-eye Jimmy and nine months later she gave birth to her one eyed baby. Another lady says, "Oh, I saw the movie Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, and then nine months later I had septuplets." The last lady who is just pregnant gasps and exclaims, "Oh no, recently, I watched 101 Dalmations!"

A man walks into a bar and sits down. He asks the bartender, "Can I have a cigarette?" The bartender replies, "Sure, the cigarette machine is over there." So he walks over to the machine and as he is about to order a cigarette, the machine suddenly says, "Oi, you bloody idiot." The man says with surprise in his voice, "That's not very nice." He returns to his bar stool without a cigarette and asks the bartender for some peanuts. The bartender passes the man a bowl of peanuts and the man hears one of the peanuts speak, "Ooh, I like your hair." The man says to the bartender, "Hey, what's going on here? Your cigarette machine is insulting me and this peanut is coming on to me. Why's this?" The bartender replies, "Oh, that's because the machine is out of order and the peanuts are complementary."

Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious-looking leopard. The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulled out a pair of sneakers, and started putting them on. The second lawyer looked at him and said, "You're crazy! You'll never be able to outrun that leopard!" "I don't have to," the first lawyer replied. "I only have to outrun you."

A Malaysian cab driver picked up a Japanese man from a hotel. Along the way, they saw a Honda motorcycle overtake the taxicab and the Japanese guy said, "Motorcycle very fast, made in Japan." Then a Toyota car overtook the taxicab and the Japanese guy said, "Car very fast, made in Japan." When they reached the destination the fare was RM 100. The Japanese man thought the ride would only cost RM 50. He asked the driver why the ride was so expensive. The driver said, "Meter very fast, made in Malaysia."

Two guys are driving down 5th Avenue in Manhattan when they come up to a red light. The guy driving slams the gas pedal and they go zooming past the red light. His friend looks at him and says, "Hey, you just went through a red light." The guy driving says, "Don't worry about it. My brother does it all the time." So they keep driving and they come to a second red light. The guy driving slams on the gas pedal and zooms past another red light. His friend is pretty mad, looks at him, and says, "Hey man, you just went through another red light. What the heck are you doing?" The guy driving tells his friend, "Don't worry about it. My brother does this all the time." They come to a third red light and the guy driving slams on the gas, zooming past the red light. His friend starts screaming at him, "What the heck? You're going to get us killed! Pull over and let me out." The guy driving screams back at him, "I'm telling you: don't worry about it. My brother, he does it all the time." So they keep driving and they come to a green light. The guy driving slams on the brakes. His friend looks at him and says, "Are you out of your mind? What the heck is wrong with you? You go flying past three red lights, almost getting us killed, and then you slam on the brakes when you have a green light?" The guy driving looks at his friend and says, "I had to stop; I saw my brother coming."

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