SATURDAY JOKES - 110

 

Newton, Pascal and Archimedes are playing hide and seek. 

Archimedes starts to count, Pascal hides in a bush and Newton draws a square on the ground and steps into it. 

Archimedes finds Newton first, of course, but Newton replies, "Nope. One Newton on one square metre is equal to one Pascal!"

Q: What did the 30 degree angle say to the 90 degree angle?
A: "You think you're always right!"

Two hydrogen atoms are at a party and bump into each other. 

The first one says, "Hey, grab that electron, it's mine!" 

"How do you know?" asks the second. 

"Cause, I'm positive!" the first replies.

When you die, you should have your brain donated to science. 

I hear they're trying to come up with the perfect vacuum!

Q: What do you do with a sick scientist?

A: Well, if you can't helium and you can't curium then you might as well barium!

Q. Why are conspiracy theories like moon landings?

A. Because they're all fake!

Q. Why is quantum mechanics the original "original hipster"?

A. It described the universe before it was cool!

Three doctors are out geese-hunting. 

A gaggle flies over and the oncologist raises and then lowers his gun. "I better conduct an MRI first to determine if those were really geese." 

Some more geese fly-by and the endocrinologist raises his gun and then lowers it. "I'll need some bloodwork to conduct an A1C and determine what those birds were first." 

Some more geese fly over. The trauma doctor raises his shotgun and blows them out of the sky. 

"What were those things, anyway?" he asks.

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