Who in the world is not corrupted? So, listen when Big Brother BN talks, OK?

Listen ye rakyat. Big Brother BN has been around since your great-grandparents time. It still is here and will be around for another 100 years you bet. You have any issues with that?

Remember, even if any anti-national 'opposition' party or parties secretly harbour a plan to take over our fortress Putrajaya, they will have to cross millions of our bodies and bones.

All lies

Listen when Big Brother BN talks. All that the anti-forces allege is not true. Allegation after allegation. That is all they can state. Have they produced any hard evidences? No. Just allegations. That is why we tell our main stream media not to waste time reporting all these 'utter rubbish'.

Did we hear you whisper "Cowgate"? Look here simpleton citizens, how can any right minded leader keep a minister and have tens of thousands of women folk support the minister till this day if there was any wrong? Use common sense lah.

You see, Big Brother BN cannot be telling you all the secrets of our politics and administration. Otherwise our national security will be under threat.

But never mind. Since simpleton citizens lack common sense we tell you now 'Listen when Big Brother speaks' okay.

Jews and Big Brother BN

You keep harping and harbouring on sensational 'Altantuyaism'. Are you people so broke? The prime minister's silence is deliberate. He wants to merely give you all the rope you need to go hang yourselves finally.

Wait for the French investigations and court dramas to unfold and close as quickly. Then you will know that Big Brother BN was smart too. Do not fall into the pits of allegations spewed by the opposition.

Remember, if you think the Jews are good, Big Brother BN is even better.

That is why no country dares to land our shores. You see we even dare to spend so much to buy submarines - just to take care of your daily lives. So stop being ungrateful okay.

Wealth mismanagement - so what?

Did we hear some shouting here and there about BN mismanaging the nation's wealth and economics? Aiya, why are you sillies so adamant? Did not Big Brother BN tell repeatedly that we are way off from going bust? We are a good 2% away from the bankruptcy mark. Trust Big Brother BN. Give us your vote and we will come back in full throttle to plug all leaks lah - and that also provided there are any leaks.

And mind you do not be so gullible as well, mistaking channeling of funds to mean leaks.

See we have cows. Now we are going 'kambing' in a big way too. Soon your bank accounts will be ringing with the sweet music of contracts and sub-contracts. With our rent-seeking formula, everyone will have an opportunity to make money on the ladder.

Education did we hear again? Aiya, you sillies never grow tired of this dog-fight. Your opposition has been harping on this for as long as anyone of you can remember. But look lah, look at all the sprawling universities we have been erecting for you. Look at all the international students pouring in from China to Africa. Do you still not get the drift?

Toll? Oh that is a non-issue. There is nothing that is free in this world. From north to south you can drive like a breeze, 'apa lagi mau?' It is very simple economics: 'Tak mau bayar toll, jangan guna expressway lah'.

Who in the world is not corrupted?

Big Brother BN also heard your rumblings about corruption 'sini dan sana'. Who in the world is not corrupted? You tell us lah. But at least in Malaysia Big Brother BN keeps it below the almost impossible benchmarks. Even the French give kickbacks. 'Apa lagi mau cerita-eh?'

The world praises Big Brother BN for keeping all the races together. You forget so soon that even US State Secretary Hilary Clinton praised us as 'moderates' whom all our other neighbours must emulate.

Look here stop being a silly-billy. Just carry on doing your work, earning your monthly wages, eating, sleeping, shopping and lepaking. If you are stressed out, we even give you the jalanraya at night to go join the Mat Rempits.

Leave the job of running this country to Big Brother BN. We are the professionals. In fact we are the only one party in the world to successfully return to govern and have been the longest running party to form a government.

After GE-13 we want to enter the Guinness Book of Records as the only longest political party in the world to rule a nation. Now don't you dare spoil that okay.

So listen when Big Brother BN speaks and learn to shut up. Otherwise we have no other choice but to let the PDRM do their job. In fact it is a hard time already for us trying to keep the leash on them so far.

Malaysia Chronicle