Beyond ‘Adolescence’: parental engagement in navigating the digital divide

 

From Faeza Hasnan

The Netflix show “Adolescence” recently sparked conversations about the impact of technology and social media on children’s well-being and the growing challenges parents face in monitoring their children’s digital lives.

Today, it’s common to see young children owning smartphones and spending hours online, either on social media, playing online games, or chatting with friends. In fact, research shows that adolescents engage with digital technology far more than any other generation.

Undeniably, technological advancements offer various opportunities such as access to educational resources, entertainment, and enhanced communication. However, it also brings challenges.

Adolescents can become deeply immersed in the digital world, leading to isolation, reduced face-to-face communication, poor social and interpersonal skills, and family conflicts. More concerning are the online dangers such as cyberbullying, identity theft, and online scams. These dangers often fuel parents’ anxiety as they struggle to balance freedom and safety in their child’s digital life.

The generational gap

A major challenge in managing children’s digital engagement stems from the generational gap between parents and their tech-savvy children. In the final episode of “Adolescence”, the parents, Eddie and Manda Miller, reflect on their son Jamie’s excessive computer use and their inability to control it. Eddie remarks, “You don’t know what they are watching in their room,” highlighting the challenges parents face in monitoring their children’s digital lives.

Most parents today grew up socialising face-to-face, while today’s teens build friendships, identities, and self-worth online. What parents see as excessive screen time, teens view as essential to their social lives. This makes it difficult for parents to understand their child’s deep emotional connection to the digital world.

Psychologist Erik Erikson’s theory of psychosocial development explains this well. Adolescence is a fundamental phase in which individuals develop their identity and self-concept.

During this stage, adolescents explore their independence and begin negotiating their rights, including privacy, participation, and self-expression. Naturally, this causes conflict as parents impose boundaries while teens push for autonomy, often clashing over digital usage. Without effective engagement strategies, this gap can lead to further disengagement and strained family relationships.

Strategies for effective parental engagement

Traditional parenting such as strict monitoring or the outright banning of devices often backfires, pushing teens to become more secretive about their online activities.

Rather than engaging in power struggles, parents can take proactive steps to develop a healthier and more balanced approach to digital engagement. One of the strategies starts with shifting mindsets from a policing approach to one of partnership.

With a partnership approach, parents can establish open and non-judgmental communication whereby they begin to engage in honest conversations with their teens about their concerns and worries. This is probably something unfamiliar in some households, especially among Asian families, where being emotionally vulnerable and connected may not be a common practice.

However, it is important to recognise the value of establishing this type of engagement with children. Instead of focusing on rules and regulations, parents can talk about values, risks, and boundaries in the digital world.

When children understand their parents’ concerns and the potential risks that the digital world may bring to them, they will be more likely to agree to a digital family agreement.

Together, parents and children can create a set of guidelines that balance independence with safety. This collaborative approach fosters mutual respect and accountability. By involving children in setting these boundaries, parents increase the likelihood that the rules will be respected and followed. Additionally, parents should model healthy digital habits themselves to reinforce these agreements.

Finally, having something in common is a crucial element in creating a strong bond within families. One way to strengthen bonds is by learning about technology together.

Instead of seeing the digital world only as a threat, families can explore its positive side such as learning new apps, sharing funny videos, or even having conversations about digital trends and challenges. This not only builds common ground but also helps parents better understand their children’s online world.

Trust as the foundation

Ultimately, the most effective parental tool is not surveillance, but trust. Open and emotional communication creates an environment where adolescents willingly seek parental guidance rather than hiding their online activities.

By shifting from control to collaboration, parents can better protect their children from digital risks while empowering them to navigate the digital world responsibly and independently. In doing so, they not only safeguard their children’s well-being but also nurture stronger, more trusting family relationships in the digital age. - FMT

Faeza Hasnan is a registered clinical psychologist and a senior lecturer in the master of clinical psychology programme at the Faculty of Social Sciences and Leisure Management, Taylor’s University.

The views expressed are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect those of MMKtT.