A pound of flesh is RM100

Justice, as an icon, is represented as a blindfolded woman holding up a scale, symbolising the meting out of judgment solely based on the law and the facts of the case, the societal standing of accuser and accused having no part in the consideration.

Big, small, justice must be, will be served in an even-handed fashion.

There is also the clichéd truism of the wheels of justice grinding slowly but surely.

An ongoing legal case illustrates this.

The alleged offence was committed on Aug 31, 2015.

Till the alleged offender was charged in court on Sept 24, the ensuing three weeks must have involved the police interviewing witnesses and the offender, preparing a report for Bukit Aman that then makes it to the Attorney-General’s Office. He appoints a deputy public prosecutor who starts preparing a case.

People who have had to appear in court soon discover what their lawyers never warn them about – the tedium of waiting four or five hours for their case to be mentioned, which usually leads to a lot of motions (pun intended) being passed from both sides, that lead to new court dates while one party or all think over things.

Days over months and years, getting up early in the morning to drive through heavy traffic in hope of finding a miraculous illegal parking spot outside the Duta court complex.

After who knows how many man/woman/hours spent in court - (as a writer, I miss the time before the repressive climate of political correctness banned "sexist" words like “mankind” and “chairman”) - how many thousands of words spewed, how many trees died to supply the paper for thousands of pages of documents, a magistrate granted an acquittal last year, July 1.

Now the High Court says, on appeal, that the magistrate erred, that the prosecution has a case, so it’s back to square one.

Back to the government asserting that over two years ago, Bilqis Hijjas threatened public order and offended by dropping yellow balloons with inflammatory words like “Justice,” “Democracy,” “Free Media” in the vicinity of the prime minister.

I am sure the learned judge has a legal basis for the calling for a retrial.

But shouldn’t the High Court be involved in weightier cases like assault with a deadly weapon rather than assault with deadly balloons?

Don't judges and magistrates have an intractable backlog of cases to clear? Isn't the AG's department so overworked, outside counsel have had to be recruited to helm cases for them?

I can understand why the phrase “Free Media” can be considered appalling, abhorrent, a dangerous idea that must not be allowed to take root. We can’t have scurrilous journalists, manipulated by foreign enemies, purveying fake news that besmirch our elevated, squeaky clean international standing.

But Justice being asked to adjudicate on an insult implied in the word “Justice”? That's a laugh of an irony. Compound that by suggesting that the yellow colour of the balloons is an effrontery, and we are well into twisted black humour ala-Monty Python.

‘You bloody fool’

Reminds me of a play of mine in 1987. As was the practice, the script had to be vetted by Special Branch.

The producer, Ivy Josiah (photo), informed me Special Branch was banning the production because there were close to 30 objectionable words and scenes from which the public had to be spared.

I had to see an inspector, late 20s, to plead my case. He told me there were over 20 four-letter words in the script.

The script was a comedy about Malaysians going through a day from dawn to night, the cast largely speaking English, but also Malay, Chinese dialects, Tamil, and I didn’t remember writing a single "eff".

When he told me the offensive four-letter (actually six-letter) word was “bloody”, what could I say but immediately reply: “You bloody fool.”

The inspector was stunned. Ivy, sitting behind me, audibly gasped. She thought the appeal was dead at that moment.

After I got his attention, I explained that from my childhood, friends in jest and teachers and parents in assessment had used the term freely. I pointed out that theatre audiences were largely educated middle-class people and hardly likely to rush out after a play to storm the barricades and start an uprising.

Reason won the day and I got my permit.

Yes, during the run of the play, there was one night KL was on edge because a soldier was roaming around nearby Chow Kit with a rifle, but I swear he did not come to see the play and was pushed over the edge by my comedy.

The charge made against Bilqis comes under Section 14 of the Minor Offences Act 1955.

1955! A British law so antediluvian and forgotten no lawmaker had felt a need to revise it in six decades. The DPP must have had to do extensive archaeological digging to dust off a law he could apply.

To cap this legal mountain out of a molehill, if Bilqis is convicted, she will be slapped with a RM100 fine.

The government wants its pound of flesh - RM100. Hasn't it learned anything from the many recent revelations of its agencies expending way too much money acquiring assets worth much, much less?

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THOR KAH HOONG is a veteran journalist.- Mkini