Bersih: Emergency rule too huge a gamble for the BN

By now, Malaysians must be disgusted to the point of vomiting at the antics of Prime Minister Najib Razak and his cousin Hishammuddin Hussein for trying to bamboozle them yet again with another out-of-this-world fairy tale that includes "major powers" wanting to seize control of Putrajaya. How far-fetched is that?

Actually, when you compare the Communist and Foreign Agents conspiracy to the Datuk T, who actually masked his face at the screening of the Sex Video to journalists, it is well within UMNO standards and their elite's sense of drama. Even so, it is time for Malaysians look at the flip side and try to make sense of why the terrible cousins are doing what they are doing to us and our country.

Firstly, dwindling public and voter support for the BN. Now this is what really gets BN mad. Mad as a raging Bull. Imagine, losing all that power and access to the national coffers. I mean, if they lose Putrajaya, that means they may have to write their own cheques, which means God forbid! use their own money. Will their wives forgive them? Will any self-respecting crony tycoon ever volunteer to pay for shopping and luxury trips ever again?

So let's look at Bersih 2.0 from the BN point of view to try and understand their irrational behavior. After all, even the deluded have the right to live in this world.

Convoluted minds

One important factor is Bersih 2.0 is an illegal organization that doesn’t exist. Say what? Yea, Bersih is an organisation that doesn't exist! It is only a coalition of 62 NGOs trying to bring a change to the Electoral system. The government has insisted that the Electoral Roll is clean, and it doesn’t need any reform. There will be no change in the Electoral Roll, so why do Bersih activists still insist on marching? Waste of time and public effort. Maybe, the King has other plans or an overseas trip, and might not be waiting at the gates of the Palace to receive the memorandum? Have we ever thought of that?

Then EC deputy chairman Wan Mohammad says that the Election Commission is totally independent. Surely, he is not an UMNO member like the Datuk T! Seriously, where Najib does find these guys? Anyway, Wan Mohammad has promised that the Electoral Roll is totally clean and the EC's regulatory body is perfectly fair. There is absolutely no hanky-panky and echoing the PM and DPM, he says the Roll does not need to be reformed either. Moreover, who believes in the existence of phantom voters anymore? Nobody believes in ghosts or phantoms anymore, or that a 180-year old man can return to vote.

Indelible ink will also make us a laughing stock in the eyes of the world. And I don’t think the ink has been tested for its halal-ness before marking ourselves with it. Not everyone is going to vote twice or thrice, or we will have a surplus up to a total of 56 million votes. What is wrong, if only a few gets to vote twice? Some mad people may also deliberately try to mark themselves before casting their votes and chaos may erupt if they are disallowed to vote.

Secondly, with so many mad men out there, it will be foolhardy to have automatic registration, as most of these mad men, may make a mistake and vote for the dreaded opposition. EC must not let this happen, as they are trying to protect the intelligent ones residing in the Rural Areas who depend on the BN for good governance.

Ambiga who?

Malacca CM Ali Rustam is correct, correct, and correct in asking for Ambiga’s citizenship to be revoked. After all she is really a nobody. And yet by fluke, she is suddenly more popular than Najib. And much more trusted. I mean, how can that be? She only got to take a picture with Hillary Clinton and Mrs Obama by accident, it doesn’t mean she is anybody.How dare she usurp our PM's glory?

Also, her intention to continue with the Walk for Democracy has also made 3 million UMNO members, 4 million Silat Lincah Exponents, 200,000 Perkasa members, 2 million Police and Army members and 53 % of the Malaysian Population angry and hostile for no reason. So really, Ambiga should be gagged before anyone gets hurt. No question about that.

Meanwhile, we should rally behind our dear Prime Minister Najib, a true statesman elected by the people. Najib has done so much for this country. He bought Scorpene submarines second-hand so that he could save the nation money, even though the submarines refused to dive out due to technical fault. The wise Najib even promised Kelantan a football stadium if BN wins Kelantan in the next election.

DPM Muhyiddin, the brainiest leader to date, has warned us that this 2-hour march could create endless chaos, and become a blood bath. Even Perkasa and Silat Lincah Panglima has echoed in unison the same warning as they cannot guarantee that their innocent members will not retaliate in the face of war and opposition if Bersih activists tries to attack them.

Rais Yatim’s timely warning, as 6 PSM leaders are charged under the Emergency Ordinance only goes to show how grave the Communist threat is to this country. China, a bona fide Communist country, has gone on to become a great Economic Power overtaking Japan and Germany and is also now a superpower with a fleet of Nuclear ICBM’s. Malaysia should seriously not try to follow in China’s footsteps.

Never forget, we owe BN a living

And now that Bersih has been termed unclean, it is high time for the authorities to omit the word from our Dictionaries and replace it with words like ‘kotorless’ or something similar. Yellow should also be replaced by other colors like beige or orange. Yellow Lamborghini’s, Yellow underwear, Digiman, Yellow bananas, flowers or mangoes, should be recolored or re-dyed before putting it up for sale.

Destroy CDs or cassettes that carry songs like Yellow Bird and Yellow River. Malaysian scientists should also do research to see if they can prevent rainbows that occasionally occur in the Malaysian skies from showing the yellow colour. It is high time to discard all our yellow belongings, dye our yellow underwear, or re-spray our yellow cars and motorbikes.

And on July 9th, the Chinese should heed the call of Ibrahim Ali to stock up on food. Indians and others need not comply, as the omniscient Ibrahim Ali did not say so. Remember, our friendly neighbourhood Police Force is always there to protect us from harm. But they cannot guarantee, their own members won’t arrest us if we continue to defy the ban and wear yellow.

Lastly, but most importantly, we must remember that we owe our government a living. To protect national unity, the UMNO elite must use reverse psychology like Divide and Rule. We must learn to forgive them for all the wrongs they have done in the past as they always had our best interests in their heart. And after all they are only human. It’s not like it’s gonna be the end of the world if we forgive them - just one more time!

Too huge a gamble for the BN

So let’s declare July 9th a self imposed holiday and go fishing, golf or a family day out and let that nobody Datuk Ambiga march all alone to the King’s palace. But isn’t that exactly what BN want’s us to do? I say to hell with all the propaganda crap excuses and let's show the government that we won’t be taken in by their spins.

I can go fishing another day, but on July 9th I shall be wearing a yellow raincoat, tucked underneath my work clothes all poised to jump in as the crowd gathers.

Also, I don’t think Ambiga will need to march alone, as 1 million PAS members are slated to join her. 62 NGO’s with thousands of members will be there too. So will Suhakam, Interfaith, DAP and PKR members. A 1.5 million strong crowd wouldn’t be a surprise.

Which reminds me, I better call and let the IGP know he should book tents, makeshift caravans or trailers or somthing like that! I mean, if he or rather than his puppetmaster - Najib Razak - were to really call for Emergency rule, not only would nobody vote for them in GE-13. It is too huge a Gamble for the BN to take. Hence, the outlandish stories and brain-degrading Commie plots.

But just in case, they do - how will the police house 1.5 million detainees? Is there enough rice to go round? That's another minister, I must prompt. Shafie Apdal and, or Ahmad Maslan.

Anyway, on July 9, I know Patriot and Billy will be there too. If, in case, you do not recognize me, I am the tall handsome one and also just to let you know, I shall probably be wearing yellow too.

- Malaysia Chronicle