MIDLIFE CRISIS

 

A midlife crisis is often dismissed as an inconsequential, almost ridiculous, state of affairs.

People respond to a midlife crisis in different ways, but it typically involves a change in the way that they act and feel, and in their attitude to life. It can happen at any time and can last for several years. The term "midlife crisis" reflects the negative aspects of change. 

Causes of Midlife Crisis.

A midlife crisis can be triggered by a significant life event, often one that reminds us of our age, and tells us that we are "past our best," or that time is running out. The main causes are linked to, but not exclusively caused by, one or more of these life changes:

1.   Awareness of ageingand mortality: it could be your first pair of reading glasses, hair loss, the onset of menopause, or the death of a peer.

2.   A health scare: the current Covid-19 pandemic that has adversely affected your health and livelihood.  

3.   A feeling of "going nowhere" in your career.

4.   The end of a meaningful relationship in your life (such as a divorce).

5.   Children becoming more independent or leaving home.

6.   Regrets regarding your life goals and achievements.

The jolt of a major event can force us to reflect on what we have achieved in our lives and - more importantly - what we have not. This can make us feel disappointed and full of regrets, and prompt us to change our lives dramatically, to try to recapture our youth or gain a sense of fulfilment. 

Midlife Crisis Symptoms.

Since midlife crises can affect people in different ways, there is no simple checklist of behaviours. However, certain signs do seem common, such as dramatic changes in habits or mood swings, feelings of angeror anxiety, emotional outbursts, or impulsive decision making and risk taking.

A previously energetic and happy team member may have stopped enjoying the activities that they used to do. They may have started comparing themselves unfavourably to others, or talking about making major changes in their life or career. This may be accompanied by a loss of confidenceor focus.

Other warning signs might include a colleague saying that they want to "get away from it all." They may feel trapped in their role or life, and ask, "Is this it?" They may become obsessed with their appearance or health, talk about their past with regret, or change their spending habits to focus on fun and excitement.

How to deal with a Midlife Crisis?

Getting through a midlife crisis is a challenge, but it is something that you can deal with and overcome. Here are some strategies on how to cope with this difficult stage of life:-

Talk to Someone.

Do not bottle up your feelings. Confide in someone you trust, such as a friend or partner, your doctor, a trained counselor, a life coach, or a therapist.

Some of the signs of a midlife crisis - losing interest in activities that you used to enjoy, feeling pessimistic or hopeless, and, in extreme cases, having suicidal thoughts - are also symptoms of depression, and ignoring them could have serious implications for your health.

Alternatively, keeping a journalcan help you to make sense of your thoughts and feelings, and it can help you to understand any stresses in your life and career.

Reframe Your Situation.

We tend to look back at our youth as the "good old days," and forget the challenges and difficulties that we faced then.

But there are many positives to getting older, such as wisdom, experience and security. So, rather than saying, "My best days are behind me," ask yourself, "What do I want to change?" Use rational thinkingto challenge any negative thoughts, and focus on what you still want out of life, rather than what you have lost. "Count your blessings" and think about things that you are grateful for.

Now that you are feeling stronger, have another look at your unfulfilled ambitions. Is it really too late to achieve them? Consider this time as an awakening, and as your chance to reassess your life and to make changes for the better.

Do a Life Audit.

You may be feeling painfully dissatisfied right now, and want to make some dramatic changes before it is seemingly too late. But, before you do, it is worth brainstorming thoroughlywhat is working in your life, as well as what is not.

Use this time as an opportunity to re-examine your valuesand sense of purpose. Do not judge your situation on others' expectations or compare it to other people's - they probably have their own doubts and insecurities.

Think about the times when you felt happiest, proudest and most fulfilled in your career and personal life. Are you still living your life in accordance with the values that inspired those experiences? If not, what changes can you make to turn things around?

Set New Goals.

The goals you once had - to buy a house, to climb the career ladder, or to have a family - may no longer be relevant or as important to you as they once were. If so, it is time to reassess what you want from life, and to align these goals with the values that you have just identified. For example, you may want to learn a new skill or language, or get involved in charity or community work.

You may be tempted to think, "What is the point at my age?" But if not now, then when? You have to identify and set new goals, and look for ways to find the motivation to achieve them.

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