One day a college professor of Psychology was greeting his new college class. He stood up in front of the class and said, “Would everyone who thinks he or she is stupid please stand up?”
After a minute or so of silence, a young man stood up.
“Well, good morning. So, you actually think you’re a moron?” the professor asked.
The kid replied, “No sir, I just didn’t want to see you standing there all by yourself.”
Evangelist: When you rearrange the letters: Evil’s Agent
Desperation: When you rearrange the letters: A Rope Ends It
A minister who was very fond of pure, hot horseradish always kept a bottle of it on his dining room table. Once, at dinner, he offered some to a guest, who took a big spoonful. The guest let out a huge gasp. When he was finally able to speak, he choked out, “I’ve heard many ministers preach hellfire, but you are the first one I’ve met who passes out a sample of it.”
My horoscope said I was going to get my heart broken in 12 years’ time…
So, I bought a puppy to cheer me up.
Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?
Patient: Doctor, I keep getting the feeling that nobody can hear what I say.
Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?
George Bush: When you rearrange the letters: He Bugs Gore
Dormitory: When you rearrange the letters: Dirty Room
My cousin had an exorcism but couldn’t afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!
Five cannibals get appointed as programmers in an IT company. During the welcoming ceremony the boss says: “You’re all part of our team now. You can earn good money here, and you can go to the company canteen for something to eat. So, don’t trouble the other employees”. The cannibals promise not to trouble the other employees.
Four weeks later the boss returns and says: “You’re all working very hard, and I’m very satisfied with all of you. One of our developers has disappeared however. Do any of you know what happened to her?”
The cannibals disown all knowledge of the missing developer. After the boss has left, the leader of the cannibals says to the others: “Which of you idiots ate the developer?”
One of the cannibals raises his hand hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals says: “You fool! For four weeks we’ve been eating team leaders, managers, and project managers and no-one has noticed anything, and now you ate one developer and it got noticed. So hereafter please don’t eat a person who is working.”
Three vampires walk into a bar and sit down at a table. The waitress comes over and asks the first vampire what he would like.
The first vampire responds, “I would like some blood.”
The waitress turns to the second vampire and asks what he would like. The vampire responds, “I would like some blood.”
The waitress turns to the third vampire and asks what he would like. The vampire responds, “I would like some plasma.”
The waitress looks up and says, “Let me see if I have this order correct. You want two types of blood and a blood light?”
Notice sent to residents of a Wiltshire parish:
Due to increasing problems with the litter louts and vandals, we must ask anyone with relatives buried in the graveyard to do their best to keep them in order.
Here’s how you play: on your drive home tonight… when you get, like, 15, 20 minutes away from your house, take an Ambien – and then just try to beat it. Really fun, and it makes the last part of the drive go really fast, you guys.
As usual, we remind you to take your Memo Plus Gold daily. It will help to keep you alert and mentally sharp. For more information or to order for Memo Plus Gold, please visit : https://oze.my
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.