Dr Harlina, you did nothing wrong!

A rush to judgment over a harmless Facebook posting has sent keyboard warriors into a bullying frenzy – leaving the rest of us wondering: “What’s wrong with Malaysian netizens?”

COMMENT

Three days ago, Dr. Harlina Halizah Siraj posted on her Facebook wall, advising young entrepreneurs on the etiquette of marketing. Within a day, the post went viral and attracted tons of reactions – both good and bad.

The post touched on the issue of “language mannerisms” when dealing with customers. As an outsider to the medical world, I personally would have known nothing about Dr. Harlina if not for her post being shared on Facebook. Everywhere, I see more negative reactions instead of positive ones – with people telling her to ‘suck it up’ – and a lot of people screaming at the top of their lungs (I imagined them doing it while tapping furiously on their phones at work) for Dr. Harlina to apologise and tone down her narcissistic attitude. Some even threw cuss words at her and cursed her entire family – despite her post being devoid of any harsh words that might drive them to do so.

Even Amran Fans, a Malay community page addressed the issue in an absolutely impudent way. Without understanding the real context of Dr. Harlina’s post, he (I’m assuming the moderator is male) boasted about having almost one million followers, and yet he doesn’t deem himself great, and how he’s not hungry for flattery and adulation like she is. He also ‘advised’ her to “widen” her humility, just like her wide hijab.

Fortunately, I’m not one to judge before knowing the full-story. After a full night of perusing various pages and stalking Dr. Harlina’s herself, I got my answer; and Dr. Harlina was in the right.

Mind your language
Generally, I would say social media is a very relaxed platform for doing business. It’s normal to see sellers and buyers addressing each other as ‘sis’, ‘bro’, ‘awak’, ‘bang’, and other informal titles. It works because you can see their faces and names (generally). From there, you can deduce their sex, age group and even personalities (ask the pros!), and come up with a title they’re most likely comfortable with.

Via text though, where no visuals or personal information are present, the safest bet is to keep things formal and professional unless the customer indicates otherwise. Dr. Harlina was right to advise the person to call her (and other future customers) ‘Puan’, which refers to a mature lady, or married woman in Bahasa. Calling an elderly lady ‘Makcik’ might be correct, but some might get offended due to the term’s connotation of oldness. Oh, how fragile human hearts are, and how complicated Bahasa is. Thus, the most polite way to address women is to use formal titles like ‘Cik’ or ‘Puan’, or any other title provided by the customer (yes, this includes Dato’, Datin, Tan Sri, Dr., etc). Unless she herself tells you she’s more comfortable with whatever other titles there are, DO NOT ASSUME ANYTHING.

I’m sure we are all familiar with how specific Bahasa Malaysia can be. Even the word ‘you’, have several variations, including ‘kau’, ‘awak’, ‘kamu’ and ‘anda’, which are to be used in different contexts. True enough, in formal settings, you wouldn’t send a resume to a potential employer and address them with“awak”. In Dr. Harlina’s situation, it doesn’t have to be formal – just imagine a 20-year-old girl addressing a 50-year-old woman as ‘awak’. Stop right there! She’s not your friend, she’s old enough to be your mother. Have some respect!

I was once scolded for being rude simply because I said, “Hi Auntie, how are you doing?” The Manglish-speaking Malay Auntie expected me to say, “Hi Auntie, how is Auntie doing?” Trust me, as an English speaker, I was scratching my head for days trying to figure this one out.

Do you now understand how rude and informal it is to use ‘awak’ or ‘kamu’ towards your elders, or in formal situations? If you still don’t get it, you should no longer wonder why you have trouble scoring a job interview.

Apologies were made

Yesterday, Dr. Harlina posted an apology on her Facebook wall (and guess what? People are still bashing her left and right). She explained that it wasn’t her intention to sound conceited or boastful of her status in her previous post. She was advising entrepreneurs to mind their language when dealing with consumers at large, to not forget their “pleases” and “thank yous”, and to always double check before they hit ‘SEND’. By using her own title, Dr. Harlina was merely providing an example of how formal titles should always be in use during consultation or closing deals. She absolutely did not mean for the entrepreneur to address her specifically by title. I am glad Dr. Harlina didn’t cave in to the social media bullying and delete her original post. If she had done so, it would seem like proof she is at fault. It’s also a relief to see some positive posts by complete strangers supporting and defending her.

Being a veteran in her line of work, I’m convinced Dr. Harlina has a whole lot of experience in dealing with all sorts of people; hence I believe she is certainly not that daft to raise the issue only for her own good. In fact Dr. Harlina went to great lengths brushing over her text messages to hide details regarding the company (to the point we don’t even know what type of company it is, or what products or services they provide). If she is the power-hungry bimbo people are making her out to be, she wouldn’t have given a single thought about confidentiality!

What’s wrong with Malaysians’ mentality?
I applaud Dr. Harlina for being humble and apologizing to the masses, but it is NOT NEEDED. She is not in the wrong. What’s wrong is this Malaysian mentality that’s always quick to judge something at face value – thus misunderstanding the real context – and proceeding to shove their opinions down others’ throats. When you receive a gift in a box, don’t you open it to see what’s inside? You never, ever trample over it without a single thought. In this case, it’s the same. Dr. Harlina has clearly been mistaken for being vain, obnoxious and obsessed with her title – all because the majority of us refused to look at the issue with an open mind and a bit of intelligence (or maybe some are incapable of it, I’m not sure anymore).

My outrage goes to the people who took it as far as insulting her and her family, making fun of her experiences, and the continuous mockery even after apologies were made and explanation was provided. For instance, the assault from Amran Fans didn’t stop there – he went on to the comments section, making fun of Dr. Harlina (while being misinformed, nonetheless!) by sarcastically asking people to be mindful when commenting due to his status as someone who has near one million followers.

It’s we Malaysians who need to stop the critical ‘kutuk everything’ attitude, and evaluate issues at a deeper level. In a simpler sentence for some of you: work your brain a little harder.

We are in the wrong, not Dr. Harlina.

#WeAreWithDrHarlina
#feelingembarrassedwithmycommunity
#whatanoutrage

Contributed by Anna Kong to FMT’s youth portal, The Level