CAN AN INDIVIDUAL CONTROL HIS/HER EMOTIONS BY HIS/HER WILL?

You ultimately have control over your emotions. Emotions are dictated by our thoughts, and our thoughts can be affected by the current situation that we find ourselves in (situation + thought + emotion). This is a concept taken straight out of the book of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

We don’t control our feelings. We control our words and actions.

We either allow our feelings to pass or seize onto them and make them last. I suggest allowing them to pass.

We either feed our minds loving, joyful, and grateful messages (and feel love, joy, and gratitude) or feed our minds fearful, angry, shaming messages (and feel fear, anger, and shame). I suggest feeding your mind loving, joyful, and grateful messages.

Feelings are essentially a secretion of hormones into the bloodstream in response to a thought—a different cocktail of hormones for each feeling. Or possibly a form of energy.

Those thoughts can be mistaken, but your feelings will be real. Trust that you actually feel what you feel, but don’t assume there’s a direct connection between your feelings and the outer world. Maybe it was a mistaken thought that stimulated them. That is often the case.

Thoughts can be ill-chosen, but your feelings still grab you. (You don’t have to grab them and hold onto them.)

Feelings are like clouds that pass by. Watch them pass. Breathe. If you’re emotionally aroused, that isn’t a good time to solve problems or have the wrong kinds of conversations. Give yourself permission to decompress before solving problems or having certain conversations.

In relationship, sometimes a partner who walks away is judged, as if somehow walking away is the wrong thing to do. As if stepping out means giving up. It doesn’t necessarily mean that! Sometimes stepping out is exactly the right thing to do, for example, when you need to decompress before continuing.

If you can’t give yourself and each other breaks for decompression, you’re asking for violence, and you’re in a toxic relationship. Something has to give. Isn’t it gentler to allow for decompression before continuing?

Be gentle with yourself. Allow feelings to pass. Feed your mind loving, joyful, and grateful messages. Your feelings will then be more enjoyable. Your vibration will rise. As your vibration rises, you’ll consistently feel more love, joy, and gratitude—for no particular reason. It might sound too good to be true, but it is true.

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