"No culture can live, if it attempts to be exclusive." - Mahatma Gandhi
COMMENT Chindians are a minority within a minority. Being Chindian has made me look at the issue of race differently. I have always found it easy to find common ground with people of different races. I believe this is a result of being Chindian.
The Chindian Diaries project is aspiring to collect and document stories from the community in Malaysia and Singapore.
It is focused primarily on Chindian culture but is open to stories from other mixed marriages. By gathering these collective stories, it is hoped that they will form a greater, overarching cultural narrative.
Reflecting on my life, I was intrigued by my grandparents - my paternal Indian-Tamil grandfather and Chinese-Nyonya grandmother (right).
My father used to tell me about their union and how my grandmother was disowned by her family for marrying my grandfather, a dark skinned Indian.
I started this project in June 2012, after participating in a weekend storytelling workshop to dig deeper into my ancestors. It forced me to delve into my family history and I learnt new things about them.
Most Chindians lean towards Indian culture, only because there were more Indian men marrying Chinese women in the 1980s till 1990s.
For families with an Indian father, it was common to see the children follow the more dominant paternal culture.
Below is a sample of stories in The Chindian Diaries project. More stories here.
COMMENT Chindians are a minority within a minority. Being Chindian has made me look at the issue of race differently. I have always found it easy to find common ground with people of different races. I believe this is a result of being Chindian.
The Chindian Diaries project is aspiring to collect and document stories from the community in Malaysia and Singapore.
It is focused primarily on Chindian culture but is open to stories from other mixed marriages. By gathering these collective stories, it is hoped that they will form a greater, overarching cultural narrative.
Reflecting on my life, I was intrigued by my grandparents - my paternal Indian-Tamil grandfather and Chinese-Nyonya grandmother (right). My father used to tell me about their union and how my grandmother was disowned by her family for marrying my grandfather, a dark skinned Indian.
I started this project in June 2012, after participating in a weekend storytelling workshop to dig deeper into my ancestors. It forced me to delve into my family history and I learnt new things about them.
Most Chindians lean towards Indian culture, only because there were more Indian men marrying Chinese women in the 1980s till 1990s.
For families with an Indian father, it was common to see the children follow the more dominant paternal culture.
Below is a sample of stories in The Chindian Diaries project. More stories here.
The race confusion
"When filling in my school report card, my teacher wrote "Eurasian" in the race section. When I took the card home for my dad to sign, I remember him making a remark about the Eurasian race section. Being eight years old, I had little understanding about race at that stage.
"My teacher later had to white-out the section and fill in 'Indian', as 'Chindian' was not a common term then. She had assumed I was Eurasian because of my surname and skin colour."
Kevin Bathman, project creator
Mistaken mother
"Over the weekends, my mother would take me swimming at the Bukit Batok swimming complex. Dorothie, my maid, would also tag along with us.
"I remember one incident when some people thought that Dorothie was my mother, and my mother, the maid.
"When filling in my school report card, my teacher wrote "Eurasian" in the race section. When I took the card home for my dad to sign, I remember him making a remark about the Eurasian race section. Being eight years old, I had little understanding about race at that stage.
"My teacher later had to white-out the section and fill in 'Indian', as 'Chindian' was not a common term then. She had assumed I was Eurasian because of my surname and skin colour."
Kevin Bathman, project creator
Mistaken mother"Over the weekends, my mother would take me swimming at the Bukit Batok swimming complex. Dorothie, my maid, would also tag along with us.
"I remember one incident when some people thought that Dorothie was my mother, and my mother, the maid.
"They had assumed that because I was darker in my complexion that my mum couldn't possibly be my mum!
Sai Amrita Balachandran, Perth
My two Chinese grandmothers
"Being unwanted by their real birth parents, both my grandmothers try not to talk about their adoption as it brings up sad memories for them.
"As both of them were adopted by Indians, they speak Tamil and understand Indian customs and traditions.
"But as they look Chinese, many would speak Mandarin to them and very often, my grandmothers wouldn't know how to respond. People often ask me "Is your grandmother Chinese?"
Sai Amrita Balachandran, Perth
My two Chinese grandmothers
"Being unwanted by their real birth parents, both my grandmothers try not to talk about their adoption as it brings up sad memories for them.
"As both of them were adopted by Indians, they speak Tamil and understand Indian customs and traditions.
"But as they look Chinese, many would speak Mandarin to them and very often, my grandmothers wouldn't know how to respond. People often ask me "Is your grandmother Chinese?"
Tivyaanga Chandramohan, Kuala Lumpur
The black sheep
"As a child, I was always blamed and punished for things I never did by my aunts. I recall an incident when my brother and sister broke a fragile item but I was punished for it. Joey, out of love for me, finally admitted it was his fault but he didn't receive any punishment from them.
"Being more Chinese looking, my aunts took better care of them. Another incident revolved around food.
"As a child, Joey loved seafood, even though I am allergic to it. During meal times, my aunts would cook prawns, fish and all sorts of seafood, knowing I could not eat any of it.
"I remember only being able to eat rice and vegetables then. It took awhile before my dad found out about it, and reprimanded my aunts for it.
"I could tell I wasn't liked by them as after getting a scolding from dad, they did cook something for me to eat. It turned out to be LIVER!"
Joey Tay, United Kingdom
Colour blind
"I had not planned on marrying outside my race for two reasons. Firstly I am a Chindian, so not one race was predominant in my life. Secondly, because I am a strong believer in falling in love regardless of race or religion.
"When I was born in Singapore, as the law of the land in those days dictated, I had to state my race as Indian, and assume my father's name as my surname.
"This caused some confusion as I didn't look Indian. In those days, I was often mistaken for a Eurasian, Chinese, Indian or Malay girl."
The black sheep
"As a child, I was always blamed and punished for things I never did by my aunts. I recall an incident when my brother and sister broke a fragile item but I was punished for it. Joey, out of love for me, finally admitted it was his fault but he didn't receive any punishment from them.
"Being more Chinese looking, my aunts took better care of them. Another incident revolved around food. "As a child, Joey loved seafood, even though I am allergic to it. During meal times, my aunts would cook prawns, fish and all sorts of seafood, knowing I could not eat any of it.
"I remember only being able to eat rice and vegetables then. It took awhile before my dad found out about it, and reprimanded my aunts for it.
"I could tell I wasn't liked by them as after getting a scolding from dad, they did cook something for me to eat. It turned out to be LIVER!"
Joey Tay, United Kingdom
Colour blind
"I had not planned on marrying outside my race for two reasons. Firstly I am a Chindian, so not one race was predominant in my life. Secondly, because I am a strong believer in falling in love regardless of race or religion.
"When I was born in Singapore, as the law of the land in those days dictated, I had to state my race as Indian, and assume my father's name as my surname.
"This caused some confusion as I didn't look Indian. In those days, I was often mistaken for a Eurasian, Chinese, Indian or Malay girl."
July Croager nee Menon, Texas, United States
Domestic helper
"I remember my maternal grandmother defended my dad when one of her nosy neighbours asked why did she allow my mum, her eldest daughter to date a Indian.
"My maternal grandmother replied that it was not one's skin colour, rather it was one's heart that matters.
"I remember my maternal grandmother defended my dad when one of her nosy neighbours asked why did she allow my mum, her eldest daughter to date a Indian.
"My maternal grandmother replied that it was not one's skin colour, rather it was one's heart that matters.
"It was simple and cliched but it was the most apt answer.
"Growing up was difficult for me and my sister. As we predominantly look Indian, it was hard trying to understand why were there so many bad remarks about our race.
"My sister had it worse than me, as she was often mistaken as my mother's Sri Lankan domestic helper. It was a steep learning curve for us."
Kannan and Piriya Nadarajan, Perth
The durian love affair
"Dad used to say that his journey to marriage was a difficult one - financially and emotionally.
"He had come from a very poor family and to meet the costs of the wedding, he had to work day and night to save up for it. He worked in an electronic factory during the day, and would sort out vegetables at night.
"Because of his handiness around the house, dad also offered to help my grandfather whenever repairs or renovations needed to be done. This helped sweeten the deal for the marriage.
"Culturally, dad had never been exposed to Indian culture and Hindu customs, so he had to patiently follow orders from my grandfather and mum."
Hema Tan Sui Lan, Johor
"Growing up was difficult for me and my sister. As we predominantly look Indian, it was hard trying to understand why were there so many bad remarks about our race.
"My sister had it worse than me, as she was often mistaken as my mother's Sri Lankan domestic helper. It was a steep learning curve for us."
Kannan and Piriya Nadarajan, Perth
The durian love affair
"Dad used to say that his journey to marriage was a difficult one - financially and emotionally.
"He had come from a very poor family and to meet the costs of the wedding, he had to work day and night to save up for it. He worked in an electronic factory during the day, and would sort out vegetables at night.
"Because of his handiness around the house, dad also offered to help my grandfather whenever repairs or renovations needed to be done. This helped sweeten the deal for the marriage.
"Culturally, dad had never been exposed to Indian culture and Hindu customs, so he had to patiently follow orders from my grandfather and mum."
Hema Tan Sui Lan, Johor
Chinese + Indian = Malay"The officer who was writing my birth certificate said to my uncle, 'Bapak Cina, mak India, anak Melayu la!'
"Puzzled and slightly annoyed, my uncle replied, 'Kalau bapak Cina, emak India, anak macam mana jadi Melayu?'
"Till today, my family is still puzzled as to how this officer come to that conclusion."
Sherlyn Yap, Kuala Lumpur
Sherlyn Yap, Kuala Lumpur
KEVIN BATHMAN is a Malaysian based in Sydney. He is interested in using creativity to address social justice issues. He is an advocate to eliminating the race column in Malaysian forms.
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