SATURDAY JOKES - 119

 

Dick and Dirk are employed in a computer hardware store as movers.
One day both of them are asked to move some computers. Dick being energetic that day doesn't feel the computer was heavy at all. At the same time, he sees that Dirk is struggling very hard to lift his computer.

At this, Dick says, "What Dirk, my comp has 500 MB Hard-disk and yours have just 250, even then you cannot lift it???"

At this, Dirk thinks for a while and replies, "That's right, but my Hard Disk is full and yours is empty"

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?

A: She missed.!

Mr. Smythe had been giving his second-grade students a short lesson on science. He had explained about magnets and showed them how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. And now it was question time....

"Class," he said, "my name begins with the letter 'M' and I pick up things....What am I?" A little boy on the front row said, "You're a mother."

Shultz, a lawyer, bribed a man on the jury to hold out for a charge of manslaughter, as opposed to the charge of murder which was brought by the prosecution.
The jury was out for nearly a week before they returned to court with the manslaughter verdict.
When Shultz paid the juror, he asked him if it had been hard to persuade the other jurors to get the charge of manslaughter.

"Sure did," the juror replied, "all the others wanted to do is to acquit him!"

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Five: one to actually do the screwing and four others to brag that they did it!

When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset. "You're running around with other women," she told her mate.

"Eve, honey, you're being unreasonable," Adam responded, "You know you're the only woman on earth".

The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by a strange pain in the chest. It was his darling Eve poking him rather vigorously around the torso.

"What do you think you're doing?" Adam demanded.
"Counting your ribs," said Eve.



At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"

The other replied "Yes, I am, I married the wrong man!"

At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?"
The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

"Do you understand that what matters is that we win together as a team?" 

The little boy nodded yes.

"So," the coach continued, "when a strike is called or you're out at first, you don't argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?" 

Again, the little boy nodded.

"Good," said the coach.

"Now go over there and explain it to your mother!"

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