Heckling, mocking and debating

I detest hecklers. And that is what a few readers who comment in Malaysia Today are, hecklers. But they imagine themselves as philosophers who are making wise comments that are going to help change entire humankind for the better. And that is why of late I have been putting down these hecklers with my own responses to their silly heckling comments.

NO HOLDS BARRED

Raja Petra Kamarudin

There are people who do not understand the difference between heckling, mocking and debating. I suppose these are the types of people who also do not understand the difference between making love, screwing and raping. To these people, brutally grabbing a female and ravaging her against her will comes under the category of ‘making love’.

Absolutely no class! Manners of country bumpkins!

But then I suppose we can’t blame them. These people did not receive an education at good schools like the Malay College Kuala Kangsar (MCKK) or the Victoria Institution (VI) -- both schools that I went to. Many of them were schooled in obscure small towns that still had bucket latrines up to the 1960s or 1970s, or in kampong schools or vernacular/mother-tongue hole-in-the-wall schools.

You can take the village idiot out of the village but you can’t take the village mentality out of the village idiot, as the saying goes. Hence you can send them to school but that does not necessarily mean they will receive an education. Education is not just about going to school. After all even monkeys can be taught tricks and then sent into space after being taught these tricks. Hence you may have gone to school but whether you are still a monkey is yet to be seen.

I detest hecklers. And that is what a few readers who comment in Malaysia Today are, hecklers. But they imagine themselves as philosophers who are making wise comments that are going to help change entire humankind for the better. And that is why of late I have been putting down these hecklers with my own responses to their silly heckling comments.

I remember an incident that happened about 30 years ago back in the early 1980s. Tan Sri Tan Kay Hock, the Chairman of Johan Holdings Berhad and George Kent (M) Bhd, took me (and our wives) for dinner at The Paddock in the (old) Kuala Lumpur Hilton. There was a comedian on stage and he was pretty good.

But we could not hear what the comedian was saying because there were two Malay chaps pissed-drunk at the table behind us who were heckling him. I noticed the manager, escorted by a security guard, going up to them to request them to tone down a bit because everyone was staring at them and were clearly quite upset with the disturbance. But these two pissed-drunk Malay chaps continued heckling the comedian until it came to a stage that he became quite flustered and did not know how to continue with his routine.

That was when I stood up and walked over to the table of these two very drunk hecklers and told them to shut the fuck up. The manager and security guard knew that the whole thing was about to turn ugly but before they could separate us one of the Malay chaps stood up and made a move towards me.

In that type of situation there is more room for talk. I punched the chap and he fell back into his chair quite stunned. For the rest of the night he remained very quiet and just ‘enjoyed’ the show. I think he must have been ‘boiling’ because after a while he came over to my table and demanded to know why I had punched him. The manager quickly grabbed him and pulled him back to his table before I could rearrange his face.

Well, okay, that was 30 years ago and I was still in my early 30s and hence quite darah panas (hot headed). Nevertheless, although I am not so fist-of-fury any longer, as I used to be, I still have zero tolerance for hecklers.

A few years ago (before the 2008 GE) I attended a debate between Umno Youth and PKR Youth at the PWTC. The Umno Youth and Puteri Umno members in the audience were very well behaved. The PKR Youth members, however, were heckling the Umno Youth debaters every time they stood up to debate.

The Umno Youth and Puteri Umno members did not do the same to the PKR Youth debaters when they stood up to debate. They Umno boys and girls behaved well and they allowed the PKR Youth debaters to say their piece without any interruptions. And even as the PKR Youth members heckled the Umno Youth debaters the Umno Youth debaters still smiled and continued in a civil manner without showing any signs of irritation.

The PKR Youth hecklers were sitting in the row right behind me (I was sitting next to Cikgu Bad so he can confirm this incident) so I could not hear the debate due to all the commotion. I turned to the PKR Youth chaps and told them to shut up and show some respect to the debaters. They kept quiet for a while and then continued heckling. I got so fed up I walked out of the hall although I wished I could just punch these hecklers in their faces.

Looking back now, I should have punched them in their faces because these people have now all joined Umno and are amongst the greatest critics of Pakatan Rakyat. And if I had known they would one day leave the opposition to join Umno I might have whacked them in the face to shut them up.

Anyway, as I said, Malaysia Today, too, has its share of hecklers who do not address, rebut or reply to the points in the article or report. They totally ignore the issues and instead just heckle. And these are the people I respond to with my sarcastic comments. It is not so much bringing myself down to their level but more to give them a taste of their own medicine. After all, I too can be nasty and post racist comments as well as they can.

But the most important thing, though, is that I put my name to my comments while they heckle under false identities without revealing who they are. And this is because they have not been properly educated and brought up like I have. I mean, they may have gone to school but they still demonstrate the mentality of their forefathers from the new villages, fishing villages, padi-fields, rubber estates, tin mines, and so on.

You can bring the descendants of people from the new villages, fishing villages, padi-fields, rubber estates and tin mines out of the new villages, fishing villages, padi-fields, rubber estates and tin mines, but you can never remove the new village, fishing village, padi-field, rubber estate and tin mine mentality from their brain.

Do I sound pompous? I hope so because I intended it to be so.