THURSDAY JOKES - 164

 

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So, his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and they made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family!"

 

Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now, what does the goat give you?"
Student: "Milk!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

 

Encik Isa and Puan Mariam had two sons. One was named Mind Your Own Business and the other was named Trouble. One day the two boys decided to play hide and seek. Trouble hid while Mind Your Own Business counted to one hundred. Mind Your Own Business began looking for his brother behind garbage cans and bushes. Then he started looking in and under cars until a policeman approached him and asked, "What are you doing?" "Playing a game," the boy replied. "What is your name?" the officer questioned. "Mind Your Own Business." Furious the policeman inquired, "Are you looking for trouble?!" The boy replied, "Why, yes!"

 

A blonde and a redhead have a large farm. They have just lost their bull. The women needed to buy another bull but only have RM 3,000. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram." She goes to the market and finds one for RM 2,999. Having only one ringgit left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one ringgit per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable." Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull!'"

 

A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans!"

 

A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone!"

 

Q: Why was six scared of seven? 

A: Because seven "ate" nine!

 

Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? 

A: Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump!

 

Q: Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek? 

A: Because he was always spotted!

 

A bus full of ugly people had a head-on collision with a truck. When they died, God granted all of them one wish. The first person said, "I want to be gorgeous." God snapped his fingers and it happened. The second person said the same thing and God did the same thing. This went on and on throughout the group. God noticed the last man in line was laughing hysterically. By the time God got to the last ten people, the last man was laughing and rolling on the ground. When the man's turn came, he laughed and said, "I wish they were all very ugly again!"

 

Little Joe asked him mum "Can I take a shower with you tonight?" 

'Yes honey, but don't look up!"
When they got in the shower, Joe looked up and asked "What is that mum?" 

His mum said "It is Tokyo!"

The next day the same thing happened but this time he asked his dad
When they took a shower, he looked up and asked "What is that?" 

"It is a huge dinosaur!" he said. 

That night he asked both his parents "Can I sleep with you both tonight?" 

"Sure" they said. 

So, they all hopped in bed and Joe looked under the covers and said "OH NO, THE DINOSAUR IS ATTACKING TOKYO!"

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