The country’s worst-kept secret was out on Monday afternoon. What had been talked about, discussed and rumoured came to fruition when the prime minister announced the dissolution of Parliament.
Never mind that the debate and passing of the 2023 Budget have yet to be completed. Never mind that the Yang di-Pertuan Agong’s concerns were ignored and a statement from the palace said he was disappointed with the latest political developments in the country.
There are many ways the Agong statement can be interpreted but when the prime minister makes a request for the dissolution of Parliament, there is little his Majesty can do to stall the efforts of one party’s zeal for fresh elections.
Although the dates of nomination and polling have yet to be announced, the campaigning has already started. Soon, we will have candidates kissing babies, sitting on the mat sharing teh-o and karipap (paid-for by party supporters) with constituents, some of whom had not come by for years.
Bold statements will be made, then revoked and denied and the familiar “I was misquoted” line will be heard or seen on television or radio and read in the print media and news portals. It already started yesterday.
Over the days leading to the hustings, hundreds of candidates will be making thousands of promises. Instant approvals of plans for development would be announced; there will be goodies for all and sundry and a guarantee of a better quality of life for everyone irrespective of their colour, creed or religion.
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When it comes to elections, we are all Malaysians. No one will dare attach labels or brand some as kaum pendatang or other monikers. For a good measure, they will throw in religion espousing that all faiths lead to God.
This will come sans the fanfare and pomposity they had enjoyed. They would come not in their Mercs and Beamers but from a garage of cars, there’ll be plenty to choose from. There will be no sight of a Ferrari or Lamborghini which is the favourite mode of travel for some of the well-heeled.
Perhaps an old Kancil used by the cook would suffice or avoid the Harley Davidson but a kapcai borrowed from the grass cutter who keeps their sprawling lawns trim proper in their well-maintained mansions.
They will be dressed like you and me - in party shirts or some other garment which they are not used to wearing. If the ladies come along, their Birkin and Bijan will be left at home with a cheap plastic handbag from the pasar malam for the company - never mind if they do not match their dresses.
On their wrists will be cheap electronic watches made of plastic while their chronometers which cost several hundred thousand are not in sight. Scores of RM50 or RM100 notes will be “donated” to alleviate the plight of the downtrodden.
They won’t come along with overbearing aides who would whisper something into their ears to tell them what to say. In short, they will be themselves behaving as if they are learned and well-versed in the people’s problems.
Suddenly, they become ordinary mortals like you and me. The message they want to send is: “I am a simple man with simple taste.” They would sit in the warung with the people and tell them of the hardships they had to ensure to “serve the people.”
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Little is talked about policies
It has happened before and it will happen again. Once in four or five years, they are seen. Every destination, however scared or venerable will also be in their itinerary. Yes, during election time, they won’t talk about religion or race, unlike the rhetoric and bombast they will spew thereafter.
“We are all Malaysians,” they would declare to applause.
Then, the “rent-a-crowd” phenomenon which has been entrenched in the system will see hundreds of “supporters” being bussed to occupy the many empty tables.
There will be well-known artistes to lure the crowd. Remember Psy in Penang? Remember the 1,000-table dinner at the Port Klang Free Zone the last time around?
On the brighter side, there’ll be plenty of opportunities for party stalwarts and hangers-on to make a quick buck by being middlemen to print posters and buntings; for the supply of bamboo poles and organising ceramah in their neighbourhoods.
The creative people will already be busy with designs of campaign material and media buyers will have a busy period making media bookings. Media houses will be caught in a dilemma – whether to accept advertisements for certain parties lest they enjoy the wrath of the other.
Party manifestos despite all the hullabaloo about the national language, will be distributed in four languages and illustrated with photographs of the candidate visiting flood victims, handing out aid to the infirmed and even manoeuvring them in a wheelchair.
(By the way, in May 2013, the Court of Appeal held that an election manifesto is not legally enforceable. Following this landmark ruling, the three-member panel led by Justice Mohd Hishamudin Mohd Yunus struck out a civil suit brought by a group of single mothers who were seeking RM10.9 million in allowances over the Selangor government's alleged failure to fulfil its 2008 general election manifesto.)
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Then, there will be the frogs who had jumped parties. They are not ashamed of admitting to doing so and they would give a variety of reasons – being disillusioned with the leaders or that they had been unable to deliver what was promised because they were on the other side.
Little is talked about policies, how the country would get out of the mess we are in or the rising prices of consumer goods. No one would talk about floods and other calamities. People must have a positive feel, they contend.
Two words will be commonly used to delight and convince the audience. Got a problem? From potholes to errant developers, the answer would be: “The first thing we will do is to set up a ‘task force’ to address the problem.”
That may be an inducement but they will sometimes come with a threat: “If you support the other side, we will cut off funds for development in your area.” Surprised? It had been done previously.
Welcome to the Malaysian elections. The methodology has been tried and tested. It has been working for the past 14 elections. Why should it fail this time?
In the meantime, as part of our culture, no one would ask: “Where were you all these years? Where were you when we needed you most?”
The ritual will be continued. It is no secret that some will be swayed by the promises with sweeteners on offer but beware of Greeks bearing gifts. - Mkini
R NADESWARAN is a veteran journalist who writes on bread-and-butter issues. Comments: citizen.nades22@gmail.com.
The views expressed here are those of the author/contributor and do not necessarily represent the views of MMKtT.
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