Femicide: The crisis we refuse to name

 

As the world marks the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence, Malaysia wakes up to yet another preventable loss of life.

A 40-year-old mother in Tanah Merah has been killed, allegedly by her husband, in a tragedy that mirrors countless others.

Her death did not begin with a knife. It began much earlier, in the shadows of fear, control, and sometimes digital intrusion.

When abuse follows women from their homes into their phones through tracking apps, surveillance, threatening messages, and coercive demands, technology-facilitated abuse becomes the earliest warning sign of femicide, a warning this country still refuses to take seriously.

This killing is not sudden. It is the final chapter of a story written long before the last blow. And as Islam reminds us through the principle la darar wa la dirar (no harm and no reciprocating harm), our institutions must act long before a woman’s name appears in the headlines.

Malaysia has a pattern. We just refuse to name it.

Between January and August 2024, Malaysian media recorded 17 femicide cases, about two women killed every month, according to the Women’s Aid Organisation’s (WAO) monitoring. Around 60 percent were murdered by current or former intimate partners.

In July 2024, 25-year-old Nur Farah Kartini Abdullah was found murdered in Hulu Selangor. In August, 10-year-old Nuraina Humaira Rosli was discovered in a swamp in Perak. Her death reflects how girls, too, are vulnerable in a society that minimises gendered harm.

In the same year, in Sabak Bernam, a young pregnant woman was killed by her boyfriend in a case that drew nationwide grief. The High Court has since found him guilty. And now, on Dec 1, another woman in Tanah Merah has been added to the list.

Each of these women had dreams, families, and futures, and every one of their deaths was preventable. Their stories reveal a truth we can no longer avoid: Malaysia does not treat violence against women with the urgency it demands.

We continue to ask why survivors do not “just leave.” Yet leaving is precisely when violence peaks. Abusers escalate when control slips, and survivors know they may be hunted, stalked, exposed online, or harmed at work. Many have no savings, no childcare, and nowhere safe to go.

Protection orders remain inconsistent, slow, or inaccessible outside office hours, and digital harassment often continues long after a woman has left the relationship.

Control looks like care until it turns deadly

Another part of this crisis is rarely discussed. Women are not supported in recognising early warning signs.

Coercive control often begins quietly, with monitoring disguised as care, jealousy mistaken for affection, and demands for passwords framed as trust.

Our society has never been taught to recognise these behaviours as red flags, and too many girls grow up believing control is normal.

This leaves women vulnerable long before violence becomes visible, and it leaves families, neighbours, colleagues, and even frontline officers unsure of how to intervene.

The government must take this seriously. Public education on warning signs, healthy relationships, and digital safety must be a national priority because prevention begins at the first sign of intimidation, not at the point of crisis.

Femicide begins long before the murder

Modern domestic violence rarely starts with physical assault. It begins with control, and increasingly, that control is digital.

Abusers demand passwords, track partners through GPS and ride-hailing history, monitor bank accounts, impersonate victims online, weaponise intimate images, and flood WhatsApp with threats.

These behaviours are not “marital problems.” They are coercive control, and coercive control is the architecture of femicide.

Between 2020 and September 2024, police recorded 30,228 domestic violence cases, while online crimes rose 35.5 percent. Violence no longer requires physical proximity. Technology has made control constant, quiet, and difficult to escape.

Femicide crisis

In 2024, 50,000 women and girls globally were killed by intimate partners or family members. That is one every 10 minutes.

Countries are responding. Italy recently passed a landmark law formally recognising femicide as a distinct crime, with fast-track investigations and stronger safeguards against stalking and image-based abuse.

Italy acted after the killing of 22-year-old Giulia Cecchettin, which triggered national reflection and reform.

Malaysia must ask the same question: How many more women must die before we recognise femicide in our laws and statistics?

Legal response no longer enough

Our laws were designed for a time when violence was physical, visible, and contained within marriage. That world no longer exists.

Digital abuse may be recognised in legislation, but enforcement is inconsistent.

Police, the Social Welfare Department, and courts still operate in silos. Tech platforms respond slowly or delete evidence. Refugees and stateless women face additional risks simply by seeking help.

Femicide happens when early signs are dismissed and when systems wait for bruises before recognising danger.

Prevent harm before it becomes fatal

Survivors are too often silenced with phrases like “sabar demi keluarga” (be patient for the sake of the family, “jangan buka aib orang” (do not expose others’ wrongdoings), or “isteri solehah mesti taat” (a devout wife must obey).

These are cultural narratives, not Islamic teachings. Islam places the preservation of life (hifz al-nafs) at the centre of its moral framework, prohibits harm, and envisions marriages built on sakinah, mawaddah wa rahmah. Endurance is not obedience. Silence is not a virtue. Protecting a woman’s life is a moral duty.

Decisive reforms needed now

Urgently take action:

● Recognise femicide as a specific crime and collect national data.

● Establish a national framework for technology-facilitated gender-based violence.

● Train police, Social Welfare Department, and courts to recognise coercive control.

● Hold tech platforms accountable for survivor-centred responses.

● Expand shelters, childcare, and financial support for all survivors.

Act before a woman becomes a headline

Femicide is not sudden. It is the result of warning signs we refuse to recognise.

In these 16 Days of Activism, Malaysia must face a painful truth. Women are not dying because they fail to survive. They are dying because our systems fail to protect them.

Justice, dignity, and the protection of life reflect the moral core of our faith, and they are the urgent responsibility of this nation. - Mkini

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AMEENA SIDDIQI is the communications manager at SIS Forum (Malaysia). With a background in publishing, media, and public advocacy, she works to amplify the voices of Muslim women and challenge unjust interpretations of Islamic law.

The views expressed here are those of the author/contributor and do not necessarily represent the views of MMKtT.