Born to a mother who is a refugee from Myanmar in Kemaman, Terengganu, Hasnah Hussin said she had identity issues as a child because she always thought she was a Malaysian.
The 27-year-old only realised she was not a Malaysian when she found out she could not attend school as she is considered stateless.
Even after she managed to attend a government school as part of a pilot project for refugee children, she said she was constantly reminded of her status as people would call her "budak Burma" (Burmese child).
Despite the challenges, Hasnah (above) completed her studies and is now working as a community organiser at human rights group Tenaganita.
"I thought I was Malaysian because I grew up with Malaysians. When I was not allowed to study, then only I knew I am not a Malaysian.
"So I asked my mother, can we return home? Do we have a home? My mother said yes, we do but we cannot return home for the time being. I have waited 27 years now. Until today I am not able to recognise which one is my world," Hasnah said.
She was part of a forum titled "Refugees and the Right to Dream" which was held today in Kuala Lumpur. The other panellists were the UN High Commission for Refugees (UNHCR) representative in Malaysia Thomas Albrecht, Alliance of Chin Refugees acting chairperson James Bawi Thang Bik and Refuge for Refugees founder Heidy Quah.
Hasnah recounted that when she first attended a government school, people would only refer to her as "budak Burma".
People from her school only started calling her by her name after she started contributing to her school by participating in extracurricular activities and so on, she said.
"(After that) no more 'budak Burma', no more isolating me. We are here willing to fill up the gap. We will work together to create more job opportunities," Hasnah said, in clearing up misconceptions that refugees would take away jobs from Malaysians if given the right to work.
When she was born, she said their neighbours in Terengganu had suggested to her widowed mother to sell her to a human trafficking syndicate.
Fearful after that incident, Hasnah's mother relocated both of them to Kuala Lumpur and started working as a domestic worker for four to six households to make ends meet.
They were living in a house with other migrants from Bangladesh and Indonesia, Hasnah recounted, and she experienced her first sexual harassment when she was five years old.
After that, she said her mother would lock her in the room they rented when she went to work for Hasnah's own safety. Despite all that, she said her mother never gave up on trying to get Hasnah into a government school.
Eventually, with some help, Hasnah said she managed to attend a government school as part of a pilot project when she was 11 years old.
"When I was supposed to be Standard 5, Dr Mahathir Mohamad was the prime minister for the first time and there was a pilot project for the refugee community.
"I don't know what's the reason but the project has ended now with only a few of us given the opportunity to study. That's why I am always telling people that I am the luckiest person in the world because I was given that opportunity.
"For me, education is the most important tool to actually create a fundamental, concrete, good and productive community," she said to Malaysiakini later.
Hasnah said she loves working for Tenaganita because she can work with the various different communities including migrant workers, refugees and even Malaysians.
But until today, she said she does not have any documentation and is still considered stateless.
"(I) only have a UNHCR card. (I am considered) stateless, because I was not born in Myanmar so I am not Burmese. Even though my parents are from Myanmar, they are also not considered Burmese because they are Rohingya.
"I was born in Malaysia, but I am not Malaysian," Hasnah said. - Mkini
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