By now, you’ve probably seen online footage of a young Australian boy Quayden Bayles crying in his car after being a victim of yet another day of bullying over his dwarfism at school.
His distraught mother, who I would like to think, has tried all kinds of means to stop the bullying, decided to record his grief and anger and we hear the boy threaten to kill and take his own life.
This is serious stuff that speaks as to where we are. Why on earth others would torment a child with a disability is beyond me but it happens every day.
Bayles’ mother Yarraka, who breaks down in tears during the video, was criticised in some quarters for not comforting her child immediately but I think she did the right thing in terms of raising awareness.
A "GoFundMe" page has raised A$450,000, far more than the original target required to bring Bayles on a trip to Disneyland, an idea proposed by American comedian Brad Williams.
The Australian National Rugby League, actor Hugh Jackman and basketball player Enes Kanter have also reached out to him.
You would have to be heartless not to sympathise.
According to America’s National Voices For Equality, Education and Enlightenment, a bullying and suicide prevention non-profit established in October 2009, suicides are the largest cause of deaths for children under 14.
There is a clear, causal link between bullying and suicide and the numbers are increasing because cyberbullying now allows bullies an even more constant access to their victims.
I was thinking about this sort of bullying when I sat down to dinner the other day with my daughter and we talked about her day at school. Apparently her teacher decided to conduct a conflict resolution class and a girl and two boys were asked to speak over why they didn’t like each other.
About 10 seconds into my daughter’s explanation, I could feel the hot tears welling up. If you are Indian/Tamil, you will know why.
The girl said she was picked on and mocked just because of her dark skin. She came from a poorer background but was in a school district with a lot of wealthy kids. She needed to do well in school but found it hard to overcome people being mean to her just because of the way she looked.
My daughter was stunned. So was the teacher. Apparently, when confronted with this, those stupid boys just laughed which made the girl cry. I started crying also. I turned away and tried to calm myself.
“Prejudice is something we have to overcome. I wish it were not a reality of life, but it is,” I told my daughter.
“We can try to counter it by being compassionate and progressive. But actually it’s hard. I feel so angry that this girl still has to grow up with this.”
Apparently her friend tells my daughter she is fortunate because she is Chindian. That makes her a lighter, more socially acceptable shade of dark. I will be the first to admit that we Indians ourselves are guilty of this unacceptable prejudice.
The truth is that in this stupid world of ours, life is generally easier if you are taller, thinner, lighter-skinned, have more symmetrical features, etc. An accident of birth predetermines how others see you and how they treat you.
As an Indian/Tamil boy in a Malaysian school (and I only spent four years here) I saw enough to notice the bias of some Umno-inspired teachers on a mission to try and prove that their race and religion were "better".
No doubt threatened by a perception that their civilisation hadn’t made the same mark on history as some others, these characters would jack up their own people and put down others. It didn’t take long to learn, for example, that an Indian boy was the most likely candidate for a caning, even if other races and gender committed the same offence.
“But,” I told my daughter, “We must not fall into the trap of victimhood.”
“Because of the career successes of a previous generation, things are relatively easier for us and we are more insulated from prejudice but we must not allow ourselves to rail against the world for being unfair.”
The world is a beautiful place, and it is an ugly place. It is never fair.
That’s a message I keep telling my children. The strange thing about growing up in Malaysia is that everyone thinks they are victimised. Even the majority race who hold at least 90 percent of the important posts in the country, walk around somehow bolstered by the false narrative that their race and religion are under threat.
Everyone’s a victim, it seems. Or everyone claims to be and because of that, those at the bottom are not seriously being looked after. And right-wing bullies of the Umno/PAS/Putra persuasion stroll the streets in defence of their racial supremacy agenda. Some people are so stupid, they even believe them.
Don’t get me wrong, ya – sad to say, racism is alive and well among our minorities too.
As for my daughter’s friend, we figured out a way to get her two nice birthday presents to show her that we care. But as with Quayden Bayles, we are only treating the symptoms, not the cause.
MARTIN VENGADESAN is a Malaysiakini team member.
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