Violence didn't begin with the assault: Overlooked reality of financial abuse

 

Of late, Malaysians have once again been confronted with the horrifying realities of domestic violence following a recent high-profile case that shocked the nation.

A pregnant woman allegedly lost her unborn child after an assault. Years earlier, another pregnant woman linked to the same accused was allegedly assaulted so severely that she remains in a permanent vegetative state to this day.

The child she carried was later born while she lay unconscious, growing up in the shadow of violence that had already taken his mother long before he could know her.

Behind these headlines are shattered families, women whose lives will never return to what they once were, and children forced to carry trauma they never chose.

But while public attention remains understandably focused on the physical violence, this case also reveals something far less visible, yet deeply embedded within Malaysian society: financial abuse.

The recent case should horrify the nation not only because of the violence allegedly inflicted on multiple wives, but because police investigations revealed a disturbing pattern.

Authorities confirmed he specifically targeted women who were civil servants because of their stable incomes and secure employment benefits. Reports indicate that all nine of his wives were civil servants.

What should deeply concern the government is that the alleged victims were civil servants, employed by the state itself.

Should the government not be alarmed that its own employees are being systematically targeted because their salaries, pensions, and benefits make them financially attractive to predatory men? This reveals how women’s economic stability itself can become a site of exploitation.

Financial abuse

We often speak about scams, fraud syndicates, and financial crimes. Yet when women are financially exploited through marriage, society suddenly becomes uncomfortable naming it for what it is: abuse.

Abuse does not always begin with bruises. Sometimes it begins with dependency, manipulation, and slowly being made responsible for carrying the emotional and financial weight of an entire relationship. It begins with being trapped in circumstances where leaving no longer feels possible.

This is what makes financial abuse so dangerous: it often operates quietly until the harm becomes severe and deeply entrenched.

It can involve exploiting a partner’s income, creating financial dependency, controlling access to finances, manipulating debt, refusing financial responsibilities, or using money as a form of control. Over time, women may find themselves emotionally isolated, economically trapped, and unable to leave safely.

Yet despite how common these realities are, financial abuse remains poorly recognised within both Malaysian law and public discourse.

Globally, there is increasing recognition that domestic violence is not limited to physical assault. Countries such as the United Kingdom and Australia increasingly recognise economic abuse and coercive control within domestic violence frameworks.

Malaysia, however, still treats many forms of financial harm as private marital disputes or enforcement issues rather than serious forms of abuse.

While the Domestic Violence Act recognises certain forms of financial loss, the law still does not adequately address broader patterns of economic control, dependency, and maintenance-related harm experienced by many women.

This legal gap matters because financial abuse is often what keeps women trapped long before physical violence escalates.

Being a ‘good wife’

Telenisa, SIS Forum (Malaysia)’s legal aid and counselling service for Muslim women, consistently sees cases where financial harm and maintenance-related disputes are central to women’s lived experiences.

Yet these cases are frequently reduced to “family issues” or administrative disputes rather than recognised as patterns of coercion and harm.

Perhaps this is where society fails women most profoundly; many women are conditioned to endure harm long before they recognise it as abuse. Women are often taught to endure hardship quietly, preserve marriages at all costs, and prioritise family stability over their own safety and well-being.

Many internalise the belief that sacrifice and silence are part of being a “good wife”, even when relationships become emotionally, financially, or physically harmful.

Over time, control becomes normalised. This is why conversations about violence against women cannot begin only after women end up hospitalised, traumatised, or dead. By then, society will be too late.

As public calls emerge for measures such as a domestic violence offenders registry, the conversation must go beyond reactive responses alone.

Any mechanism introduced must be properly enforced and accompanied by broader reforms that recognise coercive control and financial abuse before violence escalates further.

But the issue is not simply whether dangerous individuals can be identified after harm occurs. The deeper issue is why so many women continue falling through the cracks long before the violence becomes visible.

From both legal and ethical perspectives, financial responsibility within marriage is not optional. In Islam, nafkah is rooted in justice, amanah, and the prohibition of harm. Marriage is meant to embody sakinah, rahmah, and mutual responsibility, not exploitation, fear, or control.

Questions of safety and long-term security

This case is not an isolated tragedy. It is a warning.

Perhaps one of the hardest but most necessary conversations we need to have is this: women must also be empowered to think critically about financial security, autonomy, and protection before entering marriage.

Too often, women are taught how to sustain marriages, but not how to protect themselves within them.

Questions about debt, financial responsibility, employment stability, patterns of behaviour, and financial expectations are not signs of distrust or materialism. They are questions of safety, dignity, and long-term security. Financial abuse thrives where silence, dependency, and unquestioning sacrifice are normalised.

Until Malaysia begins recognising financial abuse and coercive control as serious forms of violence, we will continue responding only after lives have already been irreversibly destroyed.

What the law fails to name, many women are already living through. - Mkini

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AMEENA SIDDIQI is the communications manager at SIS Forum (Malaysia). She plays a pivotal role in advancing SIS’ mission to promote women’s rights within the Islamic framework in Malaysia.

The views expressed here are those of the author/contributor and do not necessarily represent the views of MMKtT.