Stop being grief vultures

On Thursday night I was glued on my couch watching the news of the six divers who were recently drowned while on a mission to rescue a teenager, on RTM's TV1.

As I watched the solat jenazah (prayer for the departed) held for the demised heroes and the six caskets draped with the Jalur Gemilang ready sent back to their respective hometowns for burials, my heart wrenched.

The news team then captured images of the grief-stricken parents, siblings, spouses and their little children saying their last goodbyes at the burial ground. It was a horrible moment for the families. However, the horrible moment was then made worse when the media showcased an interview with grief-stricken family members of the victims.

Upset with the intrusion of privacy and the line of questions, I switched from RTM to TV3's Buletin Utama TV3 followed by Bernama TV only to be slapped by another few series of interview sessions with the family of the victims, crying and all puffed up, clearly very much distraught with their recent loss.

And I wondered, why can’t our media give the families of the victims some privacy when covering a story? Don’t the family members of the victims have the right to grieve in private without reporters bugging them?

The print media seemed no different. Allow me to quote one of them:

“Mazlan’s mother said she found out about the death of her son from his colleagues. She said the fourth of six siblings had been working in the Fire Department for six years and had always enjoyed his job. She, however, broke down and could not say much after that.”

Now, please tell me, how does this piece of information add value to the story?

Imagine losing a loved one. You are upset, confused and sad. And then some ignorant reporters appear, asking you tough questions like how you’re feeling when you last spoke to the victim and if you experienced any premonition of the death. How would that make you feel?

I mean, seriously, when someone’s in grief after losing their loved ones, who’d rub it in their faces by asking “How are you feeling?”

Right to grieve in private

Yes, when a tragedy happens, a news crew will always be around to report on the matter for the public. Their job is to tell the story of what happened and this often includes filming some horrible scenes including some very sad people. However, there should be a line drawn between reporters trying to cover a story and families trying to grieve.

I’d like to think that people who watch or read the news are intelligent enough to appreciate the news without having to witness intrusive interviews which give no additional weight to the quality of the news besides stirring the emotions of those watching and reading.

Grieving for the death of a loved one can be mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting. And reporters swamping those who are grieving with a list of questions to ask in those tender moments is downright disgusting and shows lack of empathy.

I think the reporters and editors should learn to be sensitive and respectful in the way they gather stories, especially when dealing with those grieving the death of a family member. After all, everyone has the right to grieve in private.

While reporters have the responsibility to collect facts and ask probing questions to present a wholesome picture regarding a case to the public, I believe they must also ask themselves how far they’ll go to get a story.

If they believe empathy as being one of the most important qualities a journalist can possess, then they should always put themselves into the shoes and hearts of those who are emotionally fragile.

And if personal questions are really in order to produce a human interest story, why not give the victims' families sufficient time to grieve before approaching them for an interview?

After all, the families of the victims sometimes may want to share their stories with the public in order to honour the person they’ve lost as part of the healing process. They just need some time to recover from their loss in order to be prepared to face the camera and the world again.

Why can’t we give them the space they need?

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FA ABDUL is a passionate storyteller, a growing media trainer, an aspiring playwright, a regular director, a struggling producer, a self-acclaimed photographer, an expert Facebooker, a lazy blogger, a part-time queen and a full-time vainpot. - Mkini