The bond between a three-year-old Malay child and his Indian “second family” has once again drawn public attention, this time after the toddler reportedly fell ill from missing them too much.
Three-year-old Adam Mikhael shares a deep attachment with Banupiriya, 33, and her husband, Gunaseelan, 33, whom he affectionately calls “amma” and “appa”.
Videos of Adam and the couple have made the rounds on TikTok, and their close relationship often attracts attention online, with some videos gaining millions of views.
Their relationship began when Adam was just three months old, after his mother, Shaidatul Naqiyah, 26, hired the couple as babysitters through Facebook after her confinement period ended.
“I posted an ad looking for a babysitter. Many contacted me, but I was drawn to the way they introduced themselves with honesty and openness,” Shaidatul said when contacted by Malaysiakini.
Although initially hesitant, the mother eventually gave the couple a chance to care for Adam, who is her child from her second marriage.
“At first, I was certainly doubtful due to the differences in race and religion, but I gave it a try. Over time, I saw how lovingly they cared for Adam,” she said.
The couple took care of the child until he was six months old, before Shaidatul resumed full responsibility.
However, when Adam was nearing two years old, their relationship grew close again after Shaidatul reconnected them, admitting she felt guilty when she didn’t bring Adam to see his former caregivers.
“Since then, Adam has frequently visited their house. Sometimes he even stays overnight several times a month,” she added.
Separation and longing
Adam and the couple were again separated when Shaidatul remarried and moved from Sungai Besi to Rawang.
The separation, Shaidatul claimed, led to a decline in Adam’s health after not meeting with Banupiriya and Gunaseelan for almost a month.
She said it started with a mild cough and cold, but he later became delirious and cried while calling out for “amma” and “appa”.
“After we made a video call, maybe Adam thought he would be able to go and see them.
“He waited and hoped. At one point, he cried uncontrollably because he missed them so much,” the mother said.
She added that she had to take Adam to a clinic after his body temperature suddenly spiked.
Before that, Adam had asked several times to visit his former babysitters, but the plan had to be postponed due to several constraints while caring for family members who were hospitalised.
“We didn’t refuse to let them meet, but circumstances didn’t allow it. So I tried to calm Adam so he wouldn’t get his hopes up,” Shaidatul said.
However, she did not expect the longing would affect her child’s health.
Worried about Adam’s condition, Banupiriya and Gunaseelan eventually decided to visit him, taking about an hour by motorcycle to Rawang, through heavy rain.
“Even though it was raining, they still came. When they arrived, Adam immediately seemed calm, as if relieved to finally ease his longing,” Shaidatul said.
A love beyond identity and religion
According to Shaidatul, her son never showed discomfort with the couple, even when he started being cared for by them.
“He doesn’t cry when I drop him off, but he sulks when it’s time to go home. That’s how I know he’s happy and comfortable there,” she said.
She added that the couple always asks permission before taking Adam out or letting him stay overnight, and they take great care of his welfare.
“They love Adam very much because all three of their children are girls, and they have not been blessed with a son,” she said.
Despite differences in religion and culture, they made an effort to understand Adam’s needs by asking questions and learning basic aspects of Islam from Shaidatul to ensure he is cared for appropriately.
Shaidatul also said Banupiriya and Gunaseelan, who are Christians, always respect her family’s way of life, including food and environmental aspects.
“They take good care of Adam’s food, hygiene, and health. They never ask for any payment; it’s enough for them just to see Adam,” she said.
Shaidatul added that the close relationship has also influenced Adam’s development - he can now speak Tamil.
More touching still, she said Adam sees “appa” as a father figure.
“Adam is very close to ‘appa’. He grew up without a father, so he loves ‘appa’ like his own,” she said.
She described “appa” as gentle, loving, and patient, rarely raising his voice, while “amma” is more firm but very attentive to Adam’s well-being.
Their care was said to be no different from that of biological parents, allowing Adam to grow up in a loving environment.
“That combination makes Adam feel like he has a complete family when he’s with them,” she said.
With the two families now living a distance apart, Shaidatul said she will keep trying to accommodate both sides as often as possible.
“If they miss him or ask, I will try to send him,” she said.
She added that seeing her child fall ill from longing opened her eyes to the strength of the emotional bond between them. She hopes the relationship between Adam and his “second family” will continue into his adulthood.
She also hoped society would be more respectful of differences and not be quick to judge.
“Everyone has the right to practise their own beliefs without being forced.
“We can pray for each other, but we shouldn’t force others to follow what we believe,” she said.
According to her, Adam’s relationship with “amma” and “appa” proves that sincere love can exist regardless of background.
“My intention in sharing this story is to show that love exists regardless of background.
“Sometimes, people who are not related by blood can love our child very sincerely,” she said. - Mkini
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