Manja so much it ends up killing others

 

 Look, I’m a parent, and I have to admit that I do manja (dote) my kids every now and then. It’s the Malaysian concept of spoiling our kids rotten.

We manja them by letting them stay up past midnight to watch a movie, we buy them smartphones and tablets, and, apparently, we now also hand them the car keys before they’ve even figured out how to drive.

But here’s the thing about being manja though. When it happens behind the wheel of a heavy piece of metal with wheels and an engine inside, it stops being affection and love and becomes plain stupidity and parental neglect.

You must have read the headlines by now, right?

Let’s start with the news that made everyone’s blood pressure go up this week. The 41-year-old mother in Negeri Sembilan was fined RM1,500 for allowing her 17-year-old son to drive her car without a licence. Yes, you read that right.

RM1,500 sounds like a lot of money. You can buy a lot of nasi lemak. It’s also a pretty decent weekend getaway to Port Dickson or even Malacca. But the problem here is that the offence actually caused a horrific crash that killed three teenagers.

Three lives gone, just like that. Three families who will never have a normal Hari Raya this year or ever again, and the price tag for the adult who essentially enabled the whole thing is only RM1,500.

That’s less than the price of a mid-range smartphone.

‘Feeling unwell’, ‘talk to my dad’

Even more recently, news in Kedah made the headlines when a 13-year-old boy was caught by the Road Transport Department (RTD) driving his father, who was in the passenger seat.

The boy’s defence was just pure gold. He told the RTD officers that he had no choice because his father was feeling unwell and couldn’t drive, but still needed to do some errands.

I’m very happy that the son has that sense of responsibility to help his father, but let’s just take a beat here. If you’re too sick to drive a car, as a father, the solution isn’t to promote your Form One kid to be the driver.

What does he actually mean by having no choice? We live in the era of a myriad of e-hailing apps like Grab and Bolt. We can also ask a neighbour or an adult relative to drive. If we really need to, we also have ambulances.

Whatever it is, it is sheer common sense to realise that a 13-year-old driving a car is a disaster.

This isn’t really a new phenomenon. Back in 2024, a 12-year-old kid in Puchong was caught joyriding in his father’s car with two of his younger siblings, who were six and four years old, in the back.

This one is my personal favourite because apparently, when a neighbour stopped them to give a warning, the kid just told her to speak to his father! Both father and son were eventually charged with underage driving and child neglect, respectively.

It’s about telling your kids ‘no’

I’ll admit that I’m far from being a perfect parent. My kids probably have enough dirt on me to write their own exposé in the media. But if there’s one thing I’m absolutely strict about is not allowing them to drive.

Come on! They are 15, 11, and seven years old. Of course, the answer would be no.

Being a parent isn’t about being your kid’s best friend or the cool father. It’s about being the person who says “no” to them so they live long enough to eventually say “no” to their own kids.

So why does this keep happening? It’s probably because of our “it’s okaylah” mentality. We apply it to everything, from politics to child rearing, without realising how dangerous it can be, and no excuse is justifiable.

“It’s okaylah. He’s just going to buy me santan at the shop.”

“It’s okaylah. It’s just in the taman. There aren’t a lot of cars around.”

“It’s okaylah. I’m sitting right next to him, I can pull the handbrake if anything happens.”

We can’t always rely on the authorities to curb this dangerous behaviour. The responsibility doesn’t start at a roadblock; it starts at home. It starts with a parent who will say “no” even when it’s inconvenient, or even when you’re “unwell”.

A car is not a toy. If you hand it to an unlicensed minor, it turns into a dangerous weapon that can end up killing people, as already proven. And RM1,500 is a pittance and a slap in the face to every family that has lost a child to a road accident.

If we don’t stop being so manja with our negligence towards our children and start treating these incidents as the huge parental failures they actually are, then we’re just waiting for the next horrible incident to happen. - Mkini

---

ZAN AZLEE is a writer, documentary filmmaker, journalist and academic. Visit fatbidin.com to view his work.

The views expressed here are those of the author/contributor and do not necessarily represent the views of MMKtT.