Filial piety isn’t enough: Rethinking elder care in Malaysia

 

AS Malaysia ages, the question of elderly care is becoming increasingly urgent. But the issue is not only legal or financial; it is also deeply psychological.

Filial piety is often understood as duty: children should care for ageing parents. Yet care is not produced by duty alone. It is shaped by attachment, empathy, family history, emotional capacity and the support available to the caregiver.

In many Asian societies, including Malaysia, filial piety carries strong cultural expectations. Children are expected to repay parental sacrifice, provide emotional and financial support, and remain present as parents grow old.

These expectations are deeply embedded in social norms, religion and upbringing. They promote respect, interdependence and a sense of responsibility across generations. While support systems are essential, individual responsibility towards ageing parents remains a core expectation.

However, these expectations are increasingly being tested by changing social realities. Families are smaller, and many young adults migrate to cities or abroad for education and work.

Dual-income households are now common, leaving less time for caregiving. At the same time, life expectancy is increasing, which means caregiving responsibilities last longer and become more complex.

From a psychological perspective, Malaysia should be cautious about treating elderly neglect solely as a failure of values.

(Image: Digest by the HEAD Foundation)

In many cases, the issue is not that young people do not care, but that they are overwhelmed. Young adults today are navigating a prolonged transition into adulthood.

Financial independence is often delayed due to rising living costs, job market uncertainty and housing affordability. Many are managing work stress, career instability and, in some cases, debt, while still forming their identity, relationships and future plans.

When caregiving responsibilities are added to this already demanding phase of life, the burden can become significant. This creates what psychologists describe as role conflict. A young adult may simultaneously be an employee, partner, parent and caregiver.

Each role carries expectations that can clash. The need to work longer hours to sustain income, for instance, may conflict with the need to care for an ageing parent. Over time, this tension can lead to stress, guilt and emotional exhaustion.

Caregiving also requires emotional readiness. It is not only about performing tasks, but about patience, empathy and resilience. Not all young adults are equally prepared for this role, especially if they have not been exposed to caregiving earlier in life.

In families with a history of conflict or emotional distance, caregiving may feel even more difficult. Expectations can trigger unresolved emotions, including resentment or ambivalence.

Cultural norms can intensify this pressure. Filial piety is often framed in absolute terms, where caring for parents is seen as a moral obligation that should not be questioned.

While this reinforces responsibility, it can discourage open discussion about the challenges of caregiving. Young people may feel that admitting difficulty is equivalent to failure. As a result, stress remains hidden and unsupported.

(Image: Unsplash/Hunt Han)

When responsibility is experienced as pressure rather than choice, it can affect the quality of care. Care driven by guilt or fear may become mechanical or inconsistent. In contrast, care that is supported and willingly given tends to be more sustainable and meaningful.

This does not mean neglect should be tolerated. Severe abandonment, abuse and exploitation must be addressed firmly.

A legal framework may be necessary as a safeguard in extreme cases, providing protection for vulnerable elderly individuals and signalling societal expectations.

However, the law should not become the primary solution to what is fundamentally a complex human and relational issue. Neglect is not always straightforward. It can range from clear abandonment to more subtle forms, such as emotional withdrawal or inconsistent support.

Defining neglect in legal terms can be challenging, particularly when family circumstances vary widely. There is also a risk of misuse, especially in disputes involving finances or family conflict.

More importantly, punitive approaches do not address the root causes of neglect. If individuals lack the time, financial resources or emotional capacity to provide care, punishment alone will not resolve these limitations. In some cases, it may worsen family relationships by introducing fear and resentment.

Malaysia therefore needs a balanced and psychologically informed approach. Any law on elderly neglect must be carefully designed, with clear definitions, a focus on severe cases, and safeguards against misuse. At the same time, it must be supported by strong social and psychological systems.

Families need access to affordable eldercare services, caregiver training, counselling and respite care. Community-based support can reduce isolation and share the burden of caregiving.

(Image: Homage Malaysia)

Employers also have a role to play by offering flexible work arrangements for employees with caregiving responsibilities. For young caregivers, access to mental health support is particularly important as they navigate stress, guilt and competing demands.

At a deeper level, filial piety must be nurtured long before caregiving becomes necessary. Adolescence is a critical period for developing empathy, responsibility and family connectedness.

These values are shaped gradually through relationships, socialisation and lived experience. When these foundations are strong, individuals are more likely to provide care willingly and meaningfully later in life.

In the end, filial piety cannot simply be legislated. It must be developed, supported and sustained within a broader social context. Malaysia’s challenge is not only to prevent neglect, but to create an environment where care is possible.

Make care possible first, then make neglect punishable. 

Assoc. Prof Dr Haslina Muhamad is from the Department of Anthropology & Sociology, Faculty of Arts & Social Sciences, Universiti Malaya.

The views expressed are solely of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of  MMKtT.

- Focus Malaysia