Why can't I just be me?

Leah is a ten-year-old girl who studies at a public school in the heart of Klang Valley. Being cheeky, witty and bubbly, she always has a lot of things to say whenever we meet.

“Aunty Fa, when you were schooling, has your teacher ever asked the class to put up their hands according to their races?” she asked me one day when we met.

I nodded.

“My class teacher does the same. But when I don’t put up my hands, she gets angry,” Leah said.

“Why don’t you put up your hands?” I asked, curious.

“Because I am not Malay, Chinese or Indian,” she replied.

“Then what are you?” I asked, intrigued by her response.

“I am Leah,” she said, short and sweet.

I smiled.

“I mean your race…”

“My teacher said Malay people speak Bahasa, Chinese people speak Chinese and Indian people speak Tamil. I think that would make me English because I speak English,” sweet Leah made me chuckle with her reply.

“But you also speak Bahasa,” I teased her a little.

“I know, and that’s why I am so confused,” Leah stopped for a while to take a sip of her teh tarik.

“You know Aunty Fa, at school we also learn that the Malay people eat nasi lemak, Chinese people eat noodles and Indian people eat tosai - but the problem is, I eat all of those! So what does it make me?”

“It makes you Malaysian lah!” quipped Leah’s mom who observed us from the beginning.

We both broke into laughter.

“Usually the race of a child is determined by the parents. But in our birth certificate, our race is written as per our father’s race. That would make you an Indian,” I explained.

“But I am not an Indian,” Leah debated. “I don’t feel Indian.”

“Do you feel more of a Filipino like your mom?” I asked.

Leah shook her head.

“That’s the problem, Aunty Fa. I don’t know my own race. My mom says to tell my teacher that I am an Indian, but I know I am not.”

“Then what are you?” I asked.

“I told you, I am Leah!” she grumbled. “Why can’t I just be me?”

Malaysia Baru

Today, on Malaysia Day, I am reminded of that conversation I had with little Leah not too long ago. And to be honest, despite enjoying our first Merdeka Day and Malaysia Day under our new government, I feel saddened.

While our spirit is high on this auspicious day with festivals taking place around the country to bring people of different race, religion and background closer, we are still ticking boxes and segregating ourselves based on our ethnicity.

And to make things worse, even our new government (which is supposedly chosen to "save" our nation) still practices racial segregation and racial politics (thanks to Bersatu), clearly indicating that children like Leah will continue to be forced to identify themselves based on their ethnicity and not their nationality.

I suppose Bangsa Malaysia is still a dream and Malaysia Baru isn’t that baru after all.

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FA ABDUL is a passionate storyteller, a growing media trainer, an aspiring playwright, a regular director, a struggling producer, a self-acclaimed photographer, an expert Facebooker, a lazy blogger, a part-time queen and a full-time vainpot. -Mkini