Johor shelter home insists mother must care for her newborn after 8th out-of-wedlock pregnancy

 

ONCE bitten, twice shy.

The proverb means that if you have had an unpleasant or painful experience with someone or something, you will be much more cautious or hesitant about doing it again. It signifies learning from a bad first experience.

But for one young lady, it took eight pregnancies out of wedlock before coming to her senses. This was the unfortunate tale recounted by Mak Liza – founder of charity home for women, Baitus Solehah.

Editor’s Note: Established in 2013, Baitus Solehah is a Johor Bahru-based shelter and care centre that provides free protection, housing and care for pregnant, unmarried teenagers to prevent baby abandonment.

Founded by Munaliza Ismail (or more fondly known as Mak Liza), it operates under the Baitus Solehah Caring Centre and offers comprehensive support. including medical care, education and security.

The kind-hearted social and welfare activist known as Mak Liza recounted how she was contacted by a young lady in need of shelter and it was to her utter astonishment that the young mother has had eight children out of wedlock with multiple partners.

These multiple “mishaps” had led to the young mother being chased out of her family home as her kin were at wits’ end dealing with the multiple pregnancies and the mummy’s inability to learn from past mistakes.

‘Dangers of silver-tongued lotharios’

It was revealed that many of the babies were given up to foster families; the first child was being cared for by the grandmother while the young mother was caring for the eighth child born during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Mak Liza further revealed that the gullible girl kept falling for sweet nothings uttered by the rascal fathers who would demand for conjugal relations when she needed cash or food, denoting the girl was from impoverished circumstances.

Promises of marriage came to nothing as these men would abscond or simply disappear upon the appearance of a belly bump.

As such, Mak Liza insisted that the young mother take care of the eighth child herself instead of handing it over for adoption in exchange for admission to the charity home.

The happy ending to this story is that after a year at Baitus Solehah, the young mother was able to secure employment that provided accommodation and allowed her to take care of her child who is now five years old.

To underline the dangers of silver-tongued lotharios, Mak Liza shared another case where a young lady was also duped by promises of sweet-nothings by a couple of rascals.

The end result was two kids born out of wedlock to different fathers who have conveniently disappeared while the young mother was chased out of her family home.

Acknowledging that it was unfair on the family to bear responsibility for caring and feeding the two young children, Mak Liza also empathised with the naïve girl who had been tricked into surrendering her body in exchange for empty promises of future nuptials.

The thing to note about the cautionary tales above is NOT to cast aspersions on the young girls. Regardless that it was multiple incidences, they were naïve and taken advantage of.

It is the predatory instincts of the absentee fathers that need to be highlighted. It is certainly unfair that they get away scot-free while the young women are left to shoulder the shame and opprobrium as well as the burden of caring for the babies.

Remember – it takes two to tango and it is inherently unfair that all the scorn is poured onto only one party.  –  Focus Malaysia