KUALA LUMPUR: For some victims, the scars left by dating app encounters gone wrong are felt beyond heartbreak, extending to financial losses, damaged reputations, physical harm and intimate images exposed to the world.
A swipe right in search of a fresh start after a broken engagement left 28-year-old Luna with not a new beginning, but a painful lesson in trust, manipulation and deception.
Luna joined a dating app six months after ending her engagement, hoping to meet someone new. She met a man who slowly made his way into her heart.
"I felt sorry for him. When he asked to borrow some money to buy work essentials, top up his phone credit or pay for lunch, I would help because I cared about him and had feelings for him.
"Usually, it was RM50, sometimes RM100. Over six months, the total amount came to RM895," she said, adding that she never received any repayment from him.
Luna said doubts began creeping in after another woman contacted her and asked about her relationship with the man.
"One day, I logged into his social media account and checked his messages. I saw him calling another woman 'baby' and 'sayang' despite claiming they were no longer together."
When confronted, the man claimed she was an ex-girlfriend, but Luna said his explanation failed to ease her doubts. The confrontation ended with him becoming angry and verbally abusive before cutting off communication.
For Luna, the emotional scars ran deeper than the money lost. She said the experience shattered what she had hoped would be a fresh start after her broken engagement, and that recounting it five years later still brought back painful memories.
"It hurts every time I talk about it."
For 23-year-old student Nurshafilah, her first date with a match from a dating app ended with her sitting alone in a restaurant and staring at a RM550 bill after the man left without a word.
The pair had matched online just four days earlier. During dinner, he excused himself, claiming he needed to attend to an urgent work matter.
But he never returned.
"At first, I kept making up excuses because I did not want to meet him. However, on the night of July 14, he told me he was already on his way to Shah Alam to meet me.
"At the time, I was in Kuala Lumpur. He then said he would come to me instead. Feeling uncomfortable and guilty, I eventually agreed to meet him.
"After we ordered, he claimed his colleague needed him to deliver a work tablet to their workplace and had to leave for a while. He never came back."
She then made a post about the encounter on social media.
Nurshafilah said the man contacted her after her social media post gained attention online and threatened to file a police report.
The man, she said, later agreed to pay her back if she deleted the post.
A woman who identified herself as a former girlfriend later contacted Nurshafilah, telling her she got off lightly as she could have lost her valuables to the man.
Nurshafilah said she also came across other alleged victims of the same man who claimed they lost jewellery, cash, laptops and mobile phones.
Non-governmental organisation Jejaka said such cases were far from isolated.
Its deputy president, Dhia Rezki Rohaizad, said financial blackmail and extortion remained among the most common complaints received from dating app users seeking help.
He said perpetrators typically spent time building trust before persuading victims to share intimate photographs or personal information, which were later used to blackmail the victims.
"We have handled cases where victims shared intimate pictures through dating applications or other platforms.
"The perpetrators would save the images and threaten to expose them to family members or friends unless they were paid," he said, adding that some victims had their intimate images leaked despite complying with the demands.
Beyond financial extortion, he said, Jejaka had also received reports of victims being lured to meetings and then physically assaulted.
"Every couple of months, someone reaches out to us either through Instagram or personally to seek help."
He added that many victims were reluctant to lodge police reports due to stigma or fear of being judged for meeting someone through a dating app.
Instead, Jejaka provides legal referrals, connects victims with lawyers where necessary and offers peer support through its community programmes.
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